Random Monday – New Toys Edition

In CategoryRandom Monday

• Last week, my son made some kind of Lego army. He was trying to get across to me that it was an ancient battle they were fighting. He said, “you know mom – it was back in olden-lego times.”

• On Saturday, my daughter perused the stack of presents under the tree and asked me gravely if perhaps I had made a mistake and weren’t some of the ones labeled “Big” really meant for “Little?”

• I love all the planning and whispering and gift buying and secret keeping, and cookie making eating that comes with Christmas, but I’m pretty much over the big dinner. For one thing, the kitchen where we are staying is minuscule; and for another, I’m tired of being the person who frets over gravy while everyone else is playing with new toys or napping surreptitiously on the couch. I decided food requiring a large oven or gravy-making skills was out, but was paralyzed with indecision about what was in. PARALYZED. I didn’t get any cooperation from my family in talking about it, either.

Finally, I screeched told them that if no one wanted to talk about Christmas dinner, I would be dipping Cheetos in a can of frosting and they would be on their own.

We eventually went to the grocery store on Christmas Eve, where I bought fixings for about three different kinds of hot sandwiches, fruit, and marshmallow fluff to make fruit dip, which has to be the most delicious food abomination ever. Jim bought stuff to make pie.

It was fine. And frankly, no one around here cares about the big dinner. They might when they are older, but for now, setting food on the table where they can dash over and stuff a bite or two in their mouths before racing back to the action works for us.

I did have Jim make some mashed potatoes, because scrounging leftovers at 9 o’clock in the darkened kitchen by the light of the refrigerator is my favorite part of the day. Last night for Second Dinner, I piled my potatoes high with meatballs, sliced tri-tip and jus, and was content.

• Happy It’s-Over-Let’s-Relax-Finally Week, internet! I love you guys!

Random Monday

In CategoryRandom Monday

• This is worth reading and thinking about. The slippery slope of moral and cultural relativism. A Teacher’s Surprising Discovery.

My question is this: How can we combat this increasingly pervasive attitude when we have no common ground of ethics and morals from which to begin? It would be more pleasant to stab oneself repeatedly in the ear with a shrimp fork than to reason with someone who doesn’t think hacking a woman’s nose and ears of is WRONG.

• We recently discovered Phineas & Ferb, which is actually a very cool show. I usually am pretty strict with the kids and teevee (in a completely hypocritical way, because I LOVE television), and have limited them to PBS Kids thus far. Watching Phineas & Ferb has the amusing side effect  of Big making all sort of Lego -inators like Dr. Dooffenshmirtz (which has to be the best name of a villain EVER). Today he announced he had made a disobeyinator which would make everyone naughty. I told him in that case, I might need to make a spankinator.

• Little has started back up with referring to herself in the third person, which I find absolutely hysterical. I asked her what she wanted for lunch last week, and she remarked rather coolly that “Little prefers cake for lunch.”

• Yesterday, Little and I were in the car waiting for her dad and brother to buy some Raid –

apparently ants are quite prevalent here and the owners sent over some all-natural, tree hugging ant whisperer to persuade the ants to exit the house. The ants laughed, then ran inside and set up a tiny carnival in the bathroom sink.

– and she announced that she had 100 babies in her tummy, and she was going to name them all after herself. Tomorrow, when she is finally a grown-up, she will be hatching them.

• Just so you know, I realize that this is not the most riveting blog content. I write a lot of this stuff down as a note to myself, because I want to remember it forever. I mean, I could have 100 grandbabies hatching tomorrow! Who wouldn’t want to remember that?

• Have a good week, peeps!

Updated to Add: This morning I received an email from a reader who told me about her brother, who is trapped in a Filipino hospital until he can pay his bill. He is a former Marine who has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and his family desperately wants to get him home to a hospital better equipped to treat him. After talking it over with my husband, I am going to donate. I don’t think it’s a scam, although I suppose the possibility exists. I’d rather lose a few bucks than risk ignoring a real need. I have a soft spot for Marines, so…  Here is a link to the donation page if you want to check it out – http://www.gofundme.com/b6w3k .

Random Monday

In CategoryAdventure, Random Monday

• I am writing this on Friday night, and we are getting ready for the drive to Oregon. We went to Target to pick up the requisite snacks for the drive, and I saw this –

SQUEEZABLE FRUIT. What is that? Just mashed up fruit? In a bag? Is chewing too much work now? I see the bag has some kind of spout to suck your fruit from. I suppose that would come in handy if you were an astronaut. Or if gravity disappeared suddenly. It’s organic. That’s…something.


• Here’s what bugs me when I go into a Walmart or a Target – the entrance doors are on the left and the exit doors are on the right. Every time I try to go into a store, I have to negotiate a stream of people with full buggys exiting the store.

We walk on the RIGHT in this country. The RIGHT. I want to  enter a store on the RIGHT.

• As we were checking out, I saw that the checker was bagging cleaning supplies with  food. I don’t know if they don’t teach checkers this stuff anymore or what. It seems like common sense to me, but when I started rearranging stuff, she gave me A Look. I said apologetically, “I don’t want chemicals in with food”  and she goes “oh” with a blank look on her face. And then she asks, “what about a magazine, can that go in there?”

And I was all like MAGAZINES are FINE, just don’t put the ATHLETES FOOT CREAM in with the CHEERIOS, YOU NINNY. But not out loud. Because I have self-control like that.