Inglip Summoned, A Captcha Story

In CategoryNavel Gazing
ByDeb

Have you guys seen this?

This. Is. HILARIOUS.

People who don’t read blogs (JIM) and haven’t been subjected to the annoying, obnoxious, makes-me-want-to-stab-my-eyes-out Captcha won’t get it. But trust (JIM). It’s funny.

Inglip Summoned

 

PS: You have to click on the link and read the whole story. It’s v. funny.

Random Monday

In CategoryRandom Monday
ByDeb

Random-Monday-Main-Final

• So here’s a story about Anders Breivik, the Norwegian who massacred 77 people in 2011. Apparently, he is unhappy with prison life.

Apparently, his cell and coffee are cold, he has no view (no view!), and he’s not allowed skin moisturizer.

So. Many. Problems.

The guy went on a rampage, killed 77 people (most of them teenagers), and was sentenced to 21 years in prison.

TWENTY-ONE YEARS. SEVENTY-SEVEN PEOPLE. What is that, 4 or 5 months per person?

He is threatening a hunger strike until Norway upgrades his PlayStation 2 to a PlayStation 3 and gives him better games.

Norway: Tough On Crime.

• In packing and moving news: I’m overwhelmed. In my mind, it’s still sort of January-ish, but then I realized that it’s actually more like end-of-February-ish and that we are closing on the  new house in, like, 4 weeks. Good grief. It’s a good thing I sat on the couch and watched a Snapped marathon all weekend.

• Meanwhile, in Venezuela -

Not trying to be a downer, but that story really moved me.

Those of us who live in freedom are so, so, so very fortunate and blessed.

• Happy Monday, and Happy President’s Day to those of you who get a day off!

Random Monday

In CategoryNavel Gazing, Random Monday
ByDeb

Random-Monday-Main-Final

 

•  Every year since I turned 40, my brain is getting fuzzier and fuzzier. I definitely feel noticeably stupider lately. I had to send an email to the mortgage people this morning and the whole time I’m writing it, I just know the recipient is picturing me as some toothless idiot who doesn’t own shoes. Because all my questions are so dumb, you see. Blah. Are there Stupid-Away Supplements I should be taking? Quick, tell me before I am just a lump in the middle of the living room floor, uncomfortably smiling in confusion.

• Speaking of the mortgage people – the sellers finally accepted our offer! We have entered the Horrid Part, wherein we have to apply for mortgages and dig paperwork from 1988 out of a box in the basement and hope that nothing bad is uncovered in the inspection or the appraisal. The Horrid Part precedes the Packing Part, which is also horrid. All of these parts have School Elements mixed in because we have too much work to do to take time off for moving.

• We watched some of the Olympics this weekend like good Americans. Here is a conversation from yesterday while watching Men’s Figure Skating -

Jim: Who does this guy think he is? Peter Pan?

Me: What are you talking about?

Jim: He’s wearing green.

Me: ???

Perhaps that’s a locational story. Nevertheless, I now want to buy Jim an emerald green sequined shirt and quietly stick it in his closet.

• Also yesterday, Big was racing around like a crazy person and ran smack into an open door. Awesome Mom said, “you better not break those glasses running your face into stuff.”

• Happy Monday, y’all!

PS – I wasn’t kidding about those Dumb-Off Pills. If any of my fellow peri-menopausal types suffer the same condition and have the answer, let me know. Or even if you just suffer the same condition. We can commiserate with each other for a minute before we forget what we were talking about.

Random Monday

In CategoryRandom Monday
ByDeb

Random-Monday-Main-Final

• This house hunting stuff blows, man. We put in an offer on a house, and they rejected it, and then a week later they called and wanted to resurrect the deal, and then we were like, “Sure!” and then they’ve kept us waiting for a reply for the last TWO WEEKS because apparently THEY made an offer on a house and they are waiting for THOSE sellers to accept and we are at the bottom of a long chain of buyers and sellers.

I am continuing to look, but it’s slim pickins for people who who want a really nice house for not very much money in one of three tiny neighborhoods.

• I have been distracting myself from the gloominess of house hunting by buying lamps. I think I have a problem. On Friday, I came home with three lamps. THREE. The week before I bought two ginormous shades for some of the Christmas lamps Jim bought me.

GI-NOR-MOUS.

Lamps

I don’t know if the full magnitude of these lamps comes across, but they are basically so big that I knock into them every time I get into my desk chair. Jim thinks we might need a bigger house, just for these lamps.

They are awesome. They make me happy. These lamps have attitude. These lamps don’t take no crap from nobody. These lamps are all, “BAM! HOW DO YOU LIKE ME SO FAR?”

• We went to the pediatrician last week to get a well-child checkup, and I guess the allergy test we had him do TWO YEARS AGO for Big came back super-positive for a Cashew and Walnut allergy, and now we have to see a specialist and I might even have to turn into one of those people who has an epi-pen and barks at other moms about the Tree Nut Content of their Communal Snacks.

Whilst we were at the pediatrician, he remembered we homeschool and said, “I don’t mind if you homeschool,” and I said, “good, because I wasn’t looking for your permission.”

oh yes I did

AND THEN he told us that the Orchestra teacher at the public school his son attends was caught KISSING and SEXTING students!

AND THEN he told us to make sure our kids were getting enough… wait for it… SOCIALIZATION.

**eyeroll**

• Big came into the bathroom the other day while I was getting ready to go out with a list of things he needed me to pickup for the Super Bowl. See, one time, like THREE YEARS AGO, I made a bunch of elaborate snacks for the Super Bowl. This apparently made quite an impression on him and I inadvertently set a precedent and now he is instructing me on grocery shopping.

“Mom, I have some plans for Football Day. It’s really quite simple, actually. I have a diagram.”

A DIAGRAM.

SuperBowl-Snack-Plan

“We need two cake stands and an NFL tablecloth and some flowers for a centerpiece. Each one of these circles represents a different kind of cheese.”

Sucker Mom spent $18 on fancy cheese at Whole Foods Saturday.

cheese-2

Blueberry Wensleydale, Costswold with Chive, and White Stilton with Lemon

• Happy Monday, y’all!