Not Inadequate

We watched part of the Billboard Music Awards last night, due primarily to a lack of interest in anything else. I figured the BM Awards was a D-List show when Kanye West didn’t jump on stage and have a hissy fit when Taylor Swift won everything.

Here are some things I discovered:

• Madonna still thinks people want to see her half-naked. Mistakenly. Lady, you are 54 years old. Put on some clothes.

• Jim’s Coolness Factor would increase exponentially if he changed his name to PitBull. He’s not going for it. Lame.

• These shows always make me feel like I am too old for music. Judging by Miley Cyrus’ outfit last night, not only do I not understand music, I don’t understand clothes.

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• Speaking of clothes, it looks like high-cut leotards and thigh-high boots are the new It Look. Or maybe it’s not new. Beyonce has been wearing leotards for years. Way to be original, Jennifer Lopez.

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I’m not sold on the red puffy Big Bird sleeves. Yet.

• Justin Bieber gets more insufferable with each passing day. Sorry Beliebers. Can someone tell me what is going on with his pants?

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I know he’s just a kid, but does he not understand how pants work? Don’t inseams generally go higher than one’s knee? He pretty though.

• One of those girls from Destiny’s Child who is not Beyonce told me that if I don’t know from Electronic Dance Music, I should get out more. Then they played some truly unbearable, almost seizure-inducing crap that made me want to never, ever, ever go anywhere that is happening.

• Is is just me, or do musicians dress like science fiction characters?

white bathrobe? check.
ginormous golden rope epaulets? check.
huge gold cuffs from another galaxy? check.

• Nicki Minaj should be ashamed of herself.

Happy Monday, y’all! Link up with your own Randomness below!

• This absolutely terrific post from the Freedom to Learn blog – The Most Basic Freedom is the Freedom to Quit.

• This post – What We Did When Our Son Was Failing School.

• Last week was my birthday.

Yay.

I am now 42, which I recall from the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, is the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, Everything. I need to make sure and remind my family of that. Perhaps it will give me a little extra cachet.

• Jim gave me a sewing machine, which I am SUPER EXCITED about! Meet Bernie -

I did a ton of research and polled all my sewing friends and determined that this is the machine for me. It has enough features to allow me to grow, but it wasn’t so expensive that I will feel like an abject failure if I don’t morph into an expert seamstress in the next three months. Oh! And she was ON SALE! Which, as you know, is the way into my tight-fisted little heart.

• My dear friend, Tressa, sent me this card -

- and for some reason felt compelled to emblazon the outside the envelope with “42.” This undoubtedly devastated the poor mailman who I feel sure thought I was barely 30 and was almost certainly working up the courage to start a flirtation with me.

• Happy Monday, y’all! Link up with your own Randomness below!

• I love the twitter feed of Honest Toddler -

• Dawn sent me a link to the tumblr Reasons My Son is Crying and I forgot to include it last week, but OH MY GOSH THE FUNNY. I wish I had thought of this, frankly. (Dawn! So funny! Thanks for the link!)

• If you’ve seen that Dove commercial that seems to have driven women to tears about their unrealized beauty, you need to see this:

• Last night I made Chocolate Pudding in the Microwave and we watched Amercian Hoggers.

Yep. It’s a party over here, people. You only wish you could come over and eat pudding and watch a guy petting a turkey that’s sitting on his lap.

• Happy Monday, y’all! Link up your own Randomness below!

• I just heard a commercial for teeth whitening that boasted the “Stephen Baldwin Seal of Approval.”

Is that a thing? The Stephen Baldwin Seal of Approval? I don’t know how compelling that is, really.

• Also last week I heard that the Center for Disease Control has a whole page on their site devoted to the Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse.

Be prepared, people. Be. Prepared.

• Here is a REALLY interesting article on what happened when MIT sent tablet computers to two villages in Ethiopia with no instructions. Short version: the kids  - 2nd graders, who had previously never even seen printed packaging or road signs, never mind a computer – not only figured out how to use them, they figured out how to hack them.

• In Hysterical Non-Thinking News, a teacher who showed his 2nd graders gardening tools was suspended for “possessing, carrying, storing, or using a weapon” and for “negligently supervising children.” Jim and I have had discussions about whether or not our 2nd grader is ready for a pocketknife, but wrenches, pliers, and screwdrivers? Girl, please. Oh, and PS? The CURRICULUM REQUIRED A DISCUSSION ABOUT TOOLS. Tools in picture books? Sanctioned. Tools in real life? OHMYGOSHRUNANDHIDE.

What are they worried about, exactly? That the kids will see a screwdriver, exchange knowing looks with each other, and then go all Lord of the Flies on the school? I’ll bet that most kids are not hardened criminals, and the sight of a screwdriver inspires them to take apart their bike, not make a shiv.

• Random Pet Peeve: When autocorrect changes the spelling of my words and yet STILL shows me the little red squiggly underline that indicates a misspelling. Step off, you…you…you SPELLING DICTATORS.

• From Dawn, who sends me the best stuff – People Who Are Really Nailing This Parenting Thing.

• Happy Monday, y’all! Link up with your own randomness below!