In May, I was so over school even though we weren’t done; I convinced myself to just, um, sort of QUIT, and that we’d pick back up in August and working the ends of all the books would serve as a review and probably that is the most brilliant idea ever.
Now it’s practically August, and I’m all, “crap. we didn’t finish last year.”
In fact, not only did we not finish last year, but I still haven’t bought anything for this year. The thought of it makes me want to take a nap. Is there a thing called Fourth Year Burnout or something? Because I have it.
I also managed to let the summer slip away without doing all those things I wanted to do with the kids – baking, wood shop, sewing, art…
Well, we have done some art, but mostly what it gave me was an epiphany that I suck at being patient while my kids mangle paint brushes and waste water color paper and grind Sculpey clay into the carpet. Because Hai, I suck.
Also? We just got a library card last weekend. What kind of poser homeschooler doesn’t have a library card?
Anyway. How are you all doing?
I know there are a lot of tutorials out there, like How To Decorate Your House by Shopping Garage Sales and How To Get the Best Deal at Garage Sales and even How to Get Rich Selling Upcycled Garage Sale Finds on Etsy and so on and so forth.
This is not that tutorial.
This is more like the How to Chuck Your Kids and Your Husband Out Into the Garage with a Big Pile of Crap and Reap Hours of Peace and Quiet tutorial.
Step One: Hit some garage sales on Friday morning. Friday is prime for garage sales.
Now – and this is CRUCIAL – buy stuff for the express purpose of demolishing it. Good candidates for demolishing include: toasters, VCRs, blenders, old bicycles and tricycles, vacuum cleaners, etc. Do not spend very much. Obviously. Other things to keep an eye out for are: tools, random sets of training wheels, bits of scrap lumber, stuff with casters, old leather belts, etc. (safety note: do not demolish a television or computer monitor. those are dangerous).
Also they can learn about bargaining, because who can resist a small, blinking, glasses-wearing boy shyly asking if they’ll take a dollar for all these training wheels? No one, that’s who.
If you have any money leftover, go to Chick-Fil-A for lunch. Revel in being the hero.
Step Two: Send the kids and the Daddy outside to take apart their treasures.
…or whatever they want to do. Who cares, really? As long as Dad is in charge and they aren’t in my face asking for lunch every five minutes, I’m good.
They can learn about axles, ball bearings, solenoids, wheel spokes, and circuit boards, while you guard the Secret Chocolate Supply and watch a Snapped marathon. Maybe keep a basket of laundry in front of you and if anyone comes in to get a band-aid, busily start folding socks.
Pretty soon, you will have graveyard of murdered parts. Do not get rid of these. That’s good stuff.
Step Three: Either gather up bits of lumber you have lying around or go to Home Depot and check the scrap bin. Shop your parts graveyard for additional supplies.
Step Four (optional): Decorate
And there you have it. By following these simple steps, you too can have entire weekends to yourself.
In the house.
PS: I am at Enchanted Homeschooling Mom today, blathering on about Freezer Cooking. Check it out.