Not Inadequate

Yesterday at about 4:45 pm, I realized that I had not started dinner in the crockpot yet.

This was an unpleasant discovery.

As I was scrounging around in the fridge, I found a pound of bacon and actually remembered what I bought it for.

Oh my LANDS, y’all!

(Something about this dish gives all my thoughts a Paula Dean-ish drawl, y’all)

Being the baking geek I am, I follow the King Arthur Flour Blog. A while back they talked about these biscuits and I immediately put bacon on the grocery list, intending to give them a try some lazy Sunday morning.

These biscuits might be yummy-ness perfected.

These biscuits are another reason to be glad I am not a vegetarian. I just don’t think lentils would be the same.

If these biscuits were a movie, they would win an Oscar.

Firstly, fry up some bacon. MMMmmmm…..bacon…

Secondly, whip up a little butter-maple syrup sauce.

Then MIX THE BACON INTO THE SAUCE.

Say whaaaat…?

You heard me.

Are you hearing Paula yet, y’all?

Make some biscuit dough.

Drop the DOUGH over the MAPLE BACON SAUCE o’ YUMMINESS.

DO IT.

Bake. Turn out onto a plate.

Devour.

Accept the accolades of your grateful family.

Try to be modest about your mad baking skillz.

King Arthur Flour’s Maple Bacon Biscuit Bake

Syrup

• 1/2 pound bacon, cooked until medium-brown
• 1/3 cup brown sugar
• 1/4 cup King Arthur Unbleached All-Purpose Flour
• 1/4 cup maple syrup
• 2 tablespoons melted butter

Biscuits

• 2 cups King Arthur Unbleached All-Purpose Flour
• 2 teaspoons baking powder 
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 4 tablespoons cold butter
• 1 cup cold milk or cold buttermilk

Directions

• Preheat oven to 475°F. Lightly grease an 8″ square or 9″ round pan.
• Cook bacon. Make syrup. Combine bacon with syrup and spread in the bottom of the pan.
• Make biscuits – whisk dry ingredients together, then work butter in until mixture is crumbly. Add milk, stir well.
• Drop dough in heaping tablespoons on the syrup in the pan.
• Bake 10 minutes. Turn off oven, leaving biscuits in hot oven for 10 more minutes.
• Turn over onto serving dish.

I used 1 cup AP Flour and 1 cup freshly ground whole wheat flour. I also think this recipe would benefit from lining the baking dish with parchment, as lots of bacony goodness stuck to the pan. How I found the strength to not grab a spoon and eat the bacon syrup right out of the bowl I will never know. I made a giant whack of scrambled eggs and proclaimed dinner a success. It was about 45 minutes from start to wolfing down.

I will definitely make these again, because oh mah GAH, y’all, they are CANDIED BACON ON A BISCUIT.

On Monday night, I made this for dinner -

And then we all died and went to heaven.

I went twice, because EVERYone in my family ATE IT and RAVED ABOUT IT and did NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT ANYTHING…

…which frankly has never happened to me before.

Mad Hungry’s Spaghetti Carbonara

1 pound spaghetti
1/2 pound bacon, sliced crosswise into 1/2-inch pieces
3 large eggs
1 cup grated Parmesan cheese, plus extra for serving (optional)
Freshly ground black pepper

Bring a large pot of water to a boil over high heat and cook the spaghetti. Meanwhile, in a large skillet, cook the bacon over medium-low heat until just crispy, 8 to 10 minutes. Skim off some of the fat. Drain the pasta, add to the bacon in the pan, and toss to combine.

Whisk together the eggs, cheese, and pepper in a small bowl. Pour into the pasta, and combine thoroughly. Serve immediately with extra grated cheese, if desired.

I added a pretty good sized splash of 1/2 & 1/2 to the eggs. I also tempered my eggs a little by gradually whisking in a few tablespoons of the hot pasta water. By the time I added them to the pot, they were probably around room temperature. I have a bit of Raw Egg Paranoia, so after I added the eggs to the spaghetti and got it combined, I put the lid on and let it sit in the hot pot for about 5 minutes, just to make sure everything was cooked.

I love Lucinda Scala Quinn’s recipes so much, I finally broke down and ordered Mad Hungry. I can’t wait to get it.

This post is linked to Mouthwatering Mondays, Tasty Tuesday, Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays, Tuesdays at the Table, Real Food Wednesdays, What’s Cooking Wednesday, Foodie Fridays, Food on Fridays,  and anywhere else I can think of.

I hit some good sales at the grocery store last weekend and got a little carried away.

Fridge Before -

20 pounds of hamburger, 5 pounds of cheese, 2 shredded rotisserie chickens, 6 pounds of ham, 2 pounds of sausage, 2 pounds bacon*, 2 dozen eggs. Everything bought on sale – the hamburger, bacon, and sausage were BOGO.

Freezer After -

3 Chicken Noodle Casseroles, 21 Breakfast Burritos, 18 Beef and Bean Burritos, 10 quarts of Ham and 16 Bean Soup, 10 quarts of Ham and Mashed Potato Soup, 8 Stuffing Meatloaves, 4 pints of taco meat, 6 packets of bacon pre-chopped to make Spaghetti Carbonara on a whim, and several pounds of grapes and raspberries. Plus the assorted pizza dough balls, bread loaves and muffins that I have to make constantly.

I keep trying to get my family to quit eating, but I’m not getting any takers.

Now I shall go watch The Real Housewives, guilt free.

Maybe even with a bowl of ice cream.

Yes, definitely with a bowl of ice cream.

* That’s a lot of pork products, isn’t it? I NEVER buy bacon or sausage – it’s too expensive, smells up the whole house, and is probably not what you’d call healthy. But it was all on SALE and I had COUPONS. So there.

I found this amazing pizza dough recipe at Alli & Son, and have adapted it to my Bosch Universal. I make a huge batch of pizza dough every couple of months or so and freeze it. I’ve tweaked this recipe a little to suit our tastes and to make a ginormous batch.

This is, in fact, the best pizza dough you will ever eat. It’s yeasty, it’s crispy, it’s chewy….it’s perfect. It tastes like it came from a high end pizza parlor.

I am not kidding.

Beer Batter Pizza Dough adapted for Bosch Universal

To Bosch bowl, add the following and pulse to combine:

• 4 cups freshly ground whole wheat flour
• 4 cups all purpose white flour
• 1 cup ground flax (optional)
• 2 tablespoons bread salt
• 1 teaspoon dried Italian seasoning
• Dough relaxer (completely optional)

In a separate bowl, mix the following together and let sit until foamy:

• 4 cups warm water (110°)
• 1/2 cup honey
• 4 tablespoons SAF yeast

To water and yeast mixture, add:

• 2 12-ounce bottles of room temperature beer
• 1/2 cup olive oil

Pour beer/water mixture into Bosch bowl and stir on Level 1 until combined. Gradually add equal amounts of white and wheat flour until the dough is no longer super sticky (6 or 7 more cups of flour). Knead 3 minutes on Level 1.

Place dough in a large oiled bowl, cover, and let rise until doubled in size (about 45 minutes). Remove the dough from the bowl and knead it a bit on a lightly floured surface. Divide the dough into balls. Preheat oven to 425°. Roll dough out as thinly as possible and bake on a pizza stone for 7 minutes. Remove from the oven and top with sauce and toppings. Put pizza back into the oven and continue baking for an additional 10 minutes, or until cheese is bubbly and bottom is crispy.

This recipe will easily make 6 – 8 medium sized pizzas, depending on how thick you roll your dough.

Freezing Instructions:

Place balls of dough into freezer baggies and tuck into your freezer for later. Thaw in the fridge for a couple of hours, then let rest at room temperature for an hour before baking as above.

Alternatively, you can par-bake some pizza shells and freeze those. Preheat oven to 425°. Divide the dough into appropriately sized balls, and cover with a damp towel while working with one ball of dough at a time on a lightly floured surface. Roll dough out as thinly as possible and brush on a very light coating of oil (I pour a little oil in my hand and pat it all over the dough). Bake on a pizza stone for 7 minutes. Remove from the oven and cool on a baking rack until completely cool. Wrap in plastic wrap and foil. Stack and store in the freezer for up to 2 months. To make pizza, remove from freezer and top with sauce and toppings. Bake from frozen approximately 12 minutes, or until cheese is bubbly and bottom is crispy.

Go. Make some. Now.

Then come back and thank me.

I realize not everyone is fortunate enough to have an amazing Bosch. If you have a KitchenAid mixer, you could cut this recipe in half or even in thirds and make it in that machine. I have not made bread in a KitchenAid, and am unfamiliar with kneading times – maybe knead a minute or two longer?

This post is linked to Mouthwatering Monday, Tasty Tuesdays, Tempt My Tumy Tuesday, Tuesdays at the Table, What’s Cooking Wednesday, Real Food Wednesday,  Foodie Friday, Food on Fridays, and anywhere else I can find. ‘Cause I’m a ho.

* On Saturday night, my son burst into tears at the dinner table because I put the meat, cheese, and sauce on his taco IN THE WRONG ORDER. Clearly I am a menace to children.

* My dishwasher has started making this horrible, high-pitched, screechy noise. It’s like what a dog whistle would sound like if I could hear it. It’s like that ear worm thing in that Star Trek movie that had me sleeping with my pillow wrapped around my head in 7th grade. It’s like only marginally less painful than driving an ice pick into my eye. In short, it’s a little annoying.

* A big thank you to the lovely Helena, who made me happy when she noticed I didn’t write very much last week. I have been doing a lot of thinking about school-y stuff. To everyone in my vicinity, it probably looks like I am zoning out and playing on Twitter, but I am THINKING and it’s HARRRRRD. If all my internet buddies knew how much affection I feel for them, they would probably take out restraining orders. Melanie, Tressa, Applie, Celtic Muse, Kristy, and the Donna were all very tolerant last week and put up with all sorts of moaning and pestering from me. Melanie, in fact, wrote a whole blog post  at Four Squares to answer my questions, for which I am VERY grateful.

* I have about perfected my Granola Bar recipe. I’ve been trying to tweak it so increase the health factor and decrease the crumbly factor. A crumbly granola bar is just annoying. Not unlike getting your sauce in the wrong place on a taco.

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Granola Bars

In a large bowl, mix together:

• 6 cups rolled oats
• 1 1/2 cups oat flour
• 1 cup flax meal
• 1/2 bag mini chocolate chips

In a separate bowl, whisk together thoroughly:

• 1 can canned pumpkin
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1 cup honey
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 4 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
• 3 teaspoons vanilla
• 2 eggs

Pour the liquid ingredients over the dry ingredients and stir to combine. Line a sheet pan with parchment and press the granola bar mixture into place. Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes. Let cool slightly, then remove from the pan and cut into bars. These freeze great, and frequently show up at breakfast. Sure, they have chocolate in them, but it’s not much; and the benefits of getting all that pumpkin and flax down their little beaks outweighs any guilt I might feel about chocolate for breakfast. I am planning on decreasing the sugar level over time, but I have to be Sneaky and Gradual about it.

Have a good week, peeps!

Today, while I was making this -

I accidentally did this -

and the whole house smelled like burned plastic for an hour. Oh well.

Ham and Mashed Potato Soup

• 1 stick butter
• 2 shallots, finely minced
• 1/2 cup flour
• 6 cups milk
• 1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
• 1 pound ham, cubed
• 2-3 cups leftover mashed potatoes
• Salt and pepper to taste

Melt butter in large soup pot. Add shallots and sauté until softened. Sprinkle in flour and whisk for a minute or so. Slowly add milk, whisking constantly. Continue to stir until thickened and bubbly. Add cheese, ham, and mashed potatoes. Stir until smooth. Heat through, but do not boil. Garnish with sour cream if desired.

This soup is warm and comforting. It is helpful to prepare all the ingredients before you begin, because once you add the flour to the butter, you have to devote yourself to stirring. It is also helpful to get good quality ham – I sent my husband to the store and he came back with this really cheap stuff and it does not taste the same as the ham I buy. Surprisingly, this soup also freezes well, with no real discernable difference in texture. It gets a little thicker, but that is easily remedied by adding a little milk.

Naturally, I don’t see any reason to make a small pot of soup when I can make a big one, so I pretty much use this recipe as a ratio guide. This time I used around 4 pounds of ham, 9 cups of mashed potatoes, and over a gallon of milk. I lost track of how much cheese I put in.

What? Remember, I don’t do resolutions.

Nine quarts for the freezer!

This post is linked to Tasty Tuesday, What’s Cooking Wednesday, Real Food Wednesdays, Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays, Tuesdays at the Table, Foodie Friday, Food on Fridays, and anywhere else I can find to ho’ around. 

Mexican Wedding Cake Cookies

Cream together:
1 cup softened (not melted!) butter
¾ cup confectioner’s sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
Blend in:
1 cup chopped nuts (almonds or walnuts)
2 cups flour

Shape into ¾” balls. Place ½” apart on greased cookie sheet.

Bake 25-30 minutes @ 325 degrees, or until barely golden around edges,

Roll in confectioner’s sugar while still warm.

Sharing is optional.

Continuing the week long Birthday Event - after I made Big his broccoli cupcakes, Little got ladybug cupcakes.

She LOVES ladybugs, and I decided that this year would be THE Year of the Ladybug. She got a ladybug nightlight, a little ladybug stuffed animal (that she loses approximately 14 times a day. I am thinking ordering a spare might be a good idea), and some supercute ladybug cupcakes.

I found these instructions from (who else?) Martha Stewart. The directions were great. I had to call about 7 grocery stores before I found one that carried marzipan, and I hit Hobby Lobby for the food coloring and a piping tip.

After I incorporated the red and black food coloring into the marzipan (word to the wise – wear gloves. That paste food coloring is not kidding around), I started rolling the head and body shapes. Then I stuck them together and tried to smush everything into something resembling the shape of a ladybug.

I added a little line down the center for the wings.

The instructions called for rolling out the black marzipan and cutting tee-tiny little circles for the black dots. I thought that seemed like the road to Crazy Town, so I broke a toothpick in half and dotted the black food coloring right onto the buggies.  

The instructions also called for piping green grass onto the cupcakes with a special frosting tip, but after I did three I started feeling vaguely suicidal and switched to Frosting the Cupcakes Like a Normal Person for Pete’s Sake.

The broccoli and the buggies together -

So! Cute!

It was my very first attempt at anything like this, so while I have not morphed into Martha herself, I am still pretty proud of my efforts. And it was a lot of fun. In retrospect, I should have tried harder to come up with a cake that would encompass both of their themes – like maybe a garden cake. The marzipan was easier to work with than I thought it would be, so I could definitely have made more stuff.

I am already looking forward to next year. I think making special cupcakes might turn into one of our family traditions.

Here we are at Week 7 of Holy Crap Less Than 3 Weeks Until Christmas!

Now listen up, you slackers – I have not been getting enough participation on this hop, so throw a girl some pity links! Only two more weeks left!

This week was Birthday Week at our house. Both of my kids have birthdays that are exactly 1 week apart, and both are in the beginning of December. December is one big long month of celebration, because in addition to two birthdays and Christmas, our wedding anniversary is Christmas Eve. I love December – birthdays, cookie baking, present wrapping, and the annual gingerbread house decorating throwdown. 

You might remember that I have been teasing my son mercilessly that I was going to make him a broccoli cake for his birthday this year. And that I have spent the last 6 months wracking my brain trying to figure out how to make that happen. Thanks to recommendations from my internet buddies - the lovely Jenn and the incomparable Connie - I bought the book What’s New Cupcake, and found instructions for making faux broccoli out of candy, frosting, and sprinkles.

Here is the final result -

What do you think? I couldn’t find the recommended candy for the stem, and green nonpareils were ridiculously hard to find, so I had to make do with ones that were lighter green than they should have been….. But it looks broccoli-ish, right?

After I made a half dozen, they all started to look sort of creepily phallic, so I had a hard time judging.

The kids elected to celebrate their birthdays on the same day, so tomorrow I will tell you about the ladybug cupcakes I made for Little. They were ADORABLE.

Link up and tell me what you accomplished this week!

Even though I have resigned myself somewhat to this whole child-led learning idea, I haven’t quite beat back my need for Checking Stuff Off A List. I am still trying to find a middle ground that satisfies all parties. I flailed around and finally came up with a starting point that works for me. I wrote about How to Create Your Own Unit Study at Heart of the Matter last week.

And yesterday they graciously printed one of my favorite Christmas recipes – Quick and Easy Cake Mix Cookies. These are unbelievably easy, with only a few ingredients. They are a true staple of mine. One year I gave away something like 50 dozen of them.

As a matter of fact, I think I have all the stuff to make another batch…