Not Inadequate

**Deep Breath**

Okay, ‘member that time when I found that amazing pencil sharpener and I loved it so much, and I wrote about it all over the place and I even gave some of them away?

Well, I convinced Jim that homeschoolers need these things.

And then I convinced the guy who sold me ours to sell me a bunch more.

And then I built a website, signed up to be a vendor at a Curriculum Fair in Utah, and figured out how to take credit cards on my phone.

**whew**

So that’s it.

That’s the big, scary announcement.

I am the proud new owner of a small business selling pencil sharpeners to homeschoolers.

It’s Adventure, Part Deux.

Is that more or less plausible than going to Utah to find a sister-wife?

I am going to do a give away in the next few weeks, and also maybe figure out how to do a coupon code for free shipping.

Check it out. Tell me what you think.

Especially if you see any grammar mistakes.

Well, Colorado is on fire again.

This is the view from my house Tuesday evening at 6:30 -

and again at 8:30 -

As of Wednesday morning, we are about 4 miles from the fire, and 3 miles from the evacuation area.

There are Chinook helicopters flying around fighting it, and apparently the Air Force is sending some C130s later this morning.

And! AND we are leaving for Utah this morning for something I will tell you about next week, in fact, it’s a big announcement-y thing that I have been v. nervous to share with y’all.

What? A cliff hanger on a blog? Who DOES that?

Rude.

Stay safe, people.

I’ve been sorting through our crap recently.

It’s super fun.

The goal is to turn this disorganized pile of randomly shaped bins and cardboard boxes -

look at all that crap. ugh.

Into a neat and orderly pile comprised of all-the-same-size, stackable lockers like this -

please to enjoy my most excellent camera skillz. all those labels are various iterations on the word “crap.”
does that really say “tchotchkes, don’t need?
that scrapbooking bin is OLD scrapbooking stuff, not to be confused with the Project Life stuff which resides in my office. OBV.

I thought we got RID of stuff. I mean, we DID get rid of stuff, but apparently it was all the WRONG stuff.

Toaster? Got rid of it.

Blender? Donated.

All my paint supplies, including my beloved 2-inch sash brush that I’ve had FOREVER? Can’t find it.

Special spice rack that screws into the cabinet and pulls down so short people can see what’s in the cupboard and that I made a special trip to The Container Store to buy? Can’t find that either.

I do have 495 muffin tins in the cupboard because I DON’T KNOW WHY. GET OFF MY BACK. JEEZ.

What I have found so far -

ooooh girl, those are CUTE! I’m taking those upstairs!

Vases. That’s the tip of the iceberg, too. And you can never have too many options of stuff to put IN your vases, amIright or amIright?

Vase. Filler. People. Aspen slices? Rattan balls? CHECK AND CHECK.

Hang on, what about these?

I quite like these wooden apples, actually. I snagged them for free from a garage sale my mom had,
and I’ve since seen them for $35 a set at antique malls. They are an investment, practically. right?

There’s also this thing -

I’d be a damn fool to get rid of a perfectly good wooden orb. anyone can see that.

When I started, I thought for sure I’d come across a ton more stuff to donate or give away, and had all kinds of mental plans to take some treats to the knitting group and watch the girls fight like piranha find good homes for them.

Here’s what I had after an entire afternoon of sorting and sifting and repacking -

pathetic

One tiny square of hideous fabric. Lame.

Probably the kids and Jim have stuff to get rid of. I’ll go look.

I know there are a lot of tutorials out there, like How To Decorate Your House by Shopping Garage Sales and How To Get the Best Deal at Garage Sales and even How to Get Rich Selling Upcycled Garage Sale Finds on Etsy and so on and so forth. 

This is not that tutorial.

This is more like the How to Chuck Your Kids and Your Husband Out Into the Garage with a Big Pile of Crap and Reap Hours of Peace and Quiet tutorial.

Step One: Hit some garage sales on Friday morning. Friday is prime for garage sales.

Now – and this is CRUCIAL – buy stuff for the express purpose of demolishing it. Good candidates for demolishing include: toasters, VCRs, blenders, old bicycles and tricycles, vacuum cleaners, etc. Do not spend very much. Obviously. Other things to keep an eye out for are: tools, random sets of training wheels, bits of scrap lumber, stuff with casters, old leather belts, etc. (safety note: do not demolish a television or computer monitor. those are dangerous).

Also they can learn about bargaining, because who can resist a small, blinking, glasses-wearing boy shyly asking if they’ll take a dollar for all these training wheels? No one, that’s who.

If you have any money leftover, go to Chick-Fil-A for lunch. Revel in being the hero.

Step Two: Send the kids and the Daddy outside to take apart their treasures.

…or whatever they want to do. Who cares, really? As long as Dad is in charge and they aren’t in my face asking for lunch every five minutes, I’m good.

They can learn about axles, ball bearings, solenoids, wheel spokes, and circuit boards, while you guard the Secret Chocolate Supply and watch a Snapped marathon. Maybe keep a basket of laundry in front of you and if anyone comes in to get a band-aid, busily start folding socks.

Pretty soon, you will have graveyard of murdered parts. Do not get rid of these. That’s good stuff.

Step Three: Either gather up bits of lumber you have lying around or go to Home Depot and check the scrap bin. Shop your parts graveyard for additional supplies.

Build stuff.

Step Four (optional): Decorate

And there you have it. By following these simple steps, you too can have entire weekends to yourself.

Alone.

In the house.

By yourself.

~fin~

 PS: I am at Enchanted Homeschooling Mom today, blathering on about Freezer Cooking. Check it out.