Hopefully it’s a Talking-Whilst-Fully-Clothed Visit.
Me: Okay, so you know how I’ve been crying all the time lately?
Jim, clearly wary of a trap: Yesssss?
Me: And all my friends have been encouraging me to go see about getting some hormones? (like seriously, ALL MY FRIENDS)
Jim, remaining noncommital: uh-huh?
Me: Well, New Friend told me if I didn’t make an appointment, she was going to tell me we were going to IKEA and then take me to the doctor herself. (ironically, New Friend thinks I’M the bossy one)
Me: So I made an appointment.
I pause, and give him a meaningful look.
Jim is oblivious.
Me, making a get-with-it hand gesture (not the heart one) (not the other one, either): Why do you need to do that sweetie, you are perfect just the way you are…?
Jim: oh, right. You’re perfect.
Me: Listen, I’m scared about this. But maybe it would be better if I was less bitchy. But I’m only bitchy in the most charming of ways, right?
Jim, straight faced: You are very charming.
Me: You know in 10 years they are just going to discover that the drugs cause some dread disease. But all my friends say they would make the trade, that it would be worth it.
Jim: See, what your friends don’t know…(sees my raised eyebrow)…is that you’ve ALWAYS been this charming.
So there you go. That’s what I’m doing. I am being done Chronically Cranky and Ridiculously Weepy, and having no energy past 3 o’clock in the afternoon. I am telling you this because I would like to not feel alone. I know I am not alone, because my friends struggle with the same thing, and that is surprisingly comforting.
I have noticed lately, that other women will tell me of their struggles when I open up about my struggles. So that’s what I’m doing. I’m struggling. And if you are too, you aren’t alone.
** It was not, unfortunately, a fully-clothed visit. It was more of a “I see you haven’t been here in a while. Get undressed and cover yourself with this martini napkin and I’ll be right back” visit. Oh well. At least it’s done.