Bad Things

In CategoryNavel Gazing

• First of all, I was supposed to get a root canal this morning. But my stupid tooth did not respond to the “tests” aka “mean and hurty things with tiny hammers.” So she told me I should wait and see what happens. I’ll tell you what is going to happen – I’ll be having a root canal in two weeks.

• Second of all, and this is the WORST, I was at TJ Maxx with New Friend (how I have survived this long without the joy of designer fashions at affordable prices, I don’t know), and the checkout boy said to me, “you look familiar, I wonder if you are one of my mom’s friends.”


As I was sputtering about this on the way out to the car, New Friend – who shall be known henceforth as Probationary Friend – said, “you know you’re old enough to be that boy’s mama, right?”

Betrayal, people. You don’t even know.

I am certain there’s more, especially since I took a quiz on Facebook that proclaimed me 47% Bitchy, but I can’t remember because of that Old Enough to be a College Kid’s Mother business.

4 Responses to “Bad Things”

  1. Lisa Says:

    I have friends who I am old enough to be their mum. Granted I would have had to have gotten knocked up in my final years of High School but still …totes depressing.

  2. New Friend Says:

    So is it the transitive property you are employing to make me the bad guy here?? You are forgetting one detail-I HAVE A 25 YEAR OLD SON.
    Are you ready to get rid of that gray hair yet? Because you are not allowed to gripe about someone thinking you are their mother’s age when you have decided to embrace your gray streaks(which are perfectly lovely so don’t start with me, but you have to admit most “young moms” are not rocking silver highlights).
    You are a BEAUTIFUL, vibrant, funny, intelligent woman with FLAWLESS skin so shut the hell up about looking old. Probably he just saw me and assumed if we were friends you must be old, too.
    Let’s go back to me beig the hero for bringing you to TJ MAXX.

  3. Kevin Says:

    Yep, I’m sure I’m old enough to be his mom, too. It’s occasionally depressing, but I’m a guy, so that blunts the trauma.

    47%? You’re not even on the bitchy side of being a bitch. Besides, those questions are misleading. When bitchiness is called for, it’s not really bitching, is it? Sometimes it takes a bitch to get things done, that’s all I’m saying. The proverb “It takes a bitch” comes to mind. I also doubt it’s bitchy if it’s funny and I bet you are a funny bitcher.

    “Chew her up and spit her out — no cutting!”

  4. Tressa Says:

    HAHAHAHA! I like your new friend!
    Tressa´s last blog post ..Are you prepared to trust in God? Well, are you?