House Hunting

In CategoryNavel Gazing

As I begin to recount our infernal house hunt, I want you to know that all my opinions are my own, and if I comment on a wall color or flooring material or furniture placement in a house it’s only a reflection of my own dratted pickiness.

So if you love Forest Green carpet, or brass fixtures from 1975, or pink paisley wallpaper with matching bedspreads and pillows and lampshades, then more power to you. I have EXTREMELY fussy, opinionated (quelle surprise!), specifically minimalist taste. I mean no offense to anyone who has decorated their house in the exact same way that I am complaining about. Sometimes I envy people who hang up disco balls. It’s just not me.

Okay? Good.

Now, for the record, I hate shiny brass fixtures. Our second house was built in 1977 and had freaking original brass EVERYTHING – light fixtures, doorknobs, even brass door hinges. We replaced every. single. thing. in our house. Everything. All the flooring. All the paint. All the window coverings. All the doorknobs. All the light fixtures. All the switch plates (thick ceramic switch plates? caulked to the wall? really?), all the flooring, all the heater vents… Oh, and we took wallpaper – sometimes multiple layers – down from almost every single room. *shudder*

When we bought our last house, there was CARPET in the KITCHEN.




I had a Home Improvement Spreadsheet.

Because of course I did.

In fact, I have a House Hunting Spreadsheet. Divided into Deal Breakers, Must Haves, and Would Be Nice categories.

Because of course I do.

Deal Breakers:
Excessive amounts of wallpaper. I can’t go back there again, man. I can’t.
A house that needs kitchen or bathrooms remodeled. We have evaluated our priorities and realized we can’t do a lot of work. We’ve done it before and we lost our shirts. Absolutely NO.

Must Haves:
Places for everyone. They don’t have to be big, but between a work-at-home hubby and homeschooling, we need a lot from a house.
A playroom. If traveling has taught me anything, it’s that Jim and I can work pretty much anywhere, and that Legos need a room of their own. With a door. Amen.
A kitchen from this century
A decent yard for the kids to wreck

Would Be Nice:
Gas cooking
Hardwood floors
Two bathrooms
Non-dungeon basement laundry. Laundry in a finished basement is acceptable. Laundry on the main level would be excellent. Laundry on the bedroom level would make me swoon. My real fantasy is to have laundry on the main level and the bedroom level, so I could wash kitchen towels separately from clothes, but I need to stay connected to reality.

Obviously my complete list is much longer and more detailed, but I don’t want y’all to think I am cray-cray.

Wish us luck!

6 Responses to “House Hunting”

  1. Kristy Says:

    Oh my word…were we not friends in 2010??? Because I never saw that post or anything like that. You did an amazing job.

    I look forward to hearing more about your journey.

  2. hikooky Says:

    Awesome, and I hope you are planning on posting pictures from your house-hunting adventures.

  3. Thia Says:

    I really don’t understand the carpet in the kitchen thing. I’ve been in rentals with that. In one place we lifted a corner to find a tolerable (color wise) tile floor in excellent condition. So out came the carpet. Landlord didn’t care. Last tenant had put it in.

  4. Nicole Boyhouse Says:

    Deb. Deb. DEB! Okay, when we bought this house 14 years ago it had bright pink walls and forest green trim (shiny), brown shaggy carpet, a gold 1970’s rock fireplace, five different (but coordinated!) patterns of wallpaper in the kitchen, and a brown toilet. Actually brown enamel. Anyhoo….we spent a lot of time back then repainting, etc., etc. Went to a friend’s house, and they had also bought an older home and were doing some renos as well. I was describing to them how hideous our house was, blah, blah, blah, and then they took us on the tour where we saw the bedrooms they had painted in pink and green, the wallpaper they had put up, and they had done it all themselves. They took our old decor, basically, and implemented it into their renos. It was super awkward, since I had just said how UGLY our house was.
    Nicole Boyhouse´s last blog post ..Green Smoothies are the Cocaine of the Smoothie World

  5. Hannah @Supermommmy!...Or Not Says:

    We’re also on a house hunt. Our plan was to move out of our tiny 2 bedroom apartment before baby #4 joins us in March. I don’t see that happening at this point because it turns out that Hubby is exceptionally weird about house buying. Not sure how we’re going to handle having a baby in this house since our very-light-sleeper 1 year old still sleeps in our room and Hubby sleeps in the kiddos’ room (it’s darker than ours) during the day so he can work at night. But I’m not freaking out or anything…okay maybe I actually totally am. ANYWAYS…one of the houses we looked at had carpet IN THE SHOWER STALL. I kid you not.
    Hannah @Supermommmy!…Or Not´s last blog post ..Random Monday – Jan 6, 2014

  6. Erin - The Usual Mayhem Says:

    Making the spreadsheet is just good sense. And I am SOOO with you on the wallpaper and kind of wish I’d remembered how much I hated removing it last time before we bought this house. Luckily I now have an adult child who can reach the high bits without a ladder and can be coerced into removing it instead of me. Usually.

    Also? Brass crap everywhere. Even the FANS. Of which there are many.

    So yeah. Stick with your spreadsheet. It will save you a lot of head banging.
    Erin – The Usual Mayhem´s last blog post ..Greek Mythology: Easy Medusa Craft