House Hunting

In CategoryNavel Gazing

As I begin to recount our infernal house hunt, I want you to know that all my opinions are my own, and if I comment on a wall color or flooring material or furniture placement in a house it’s only a reflection of my own dratted pickiness.

So if you love Forest Green carpet, or brass fixtures from 1975, or pink paisley¬†wallpaper with matching bedspreads and pillows and lampshades, then more power to you. I have¬†EXTREMELY fussy, opinionated (quelle surprise!), specifically minimalist taste. I mean no offense to anyone who has decorated their house in the exact same way that I am complaining about. Sometimes I envy people who hang up disco balls. It’s just not me.

Okay? Good.

Now, for the record, I hate shiny brass fixtures. Our second house was built in 1977 and had freaking original brass EVERYTHING – light fixtures, doorknobs, even brass door hinges. We replaced every. single. thing. in our house. Everything. All the flooring. All the paint. All the window coverings. All the doorknobs. All the light fixtures. All the switch plates (thick ceramic switch plates? caulked to the wall? really?), all the flooring, all the heater vents… Oh, and we took wallpaper – sometimes multiple layers – down from almost every single room. *shudder*

When we bought our last house, there was CARPET in the KITCHEN.




I had a Home Improvement Spreadsheet.

Because of course I did.

In fact, I have a House Hunting Spreadsheet. Divided into Deal Breakers, Must Haves, and Would Be Nice categories.

Because of course I do.

Deal Breakers:
Excessive amounts of wallpaper. I can’t go back there again, man. I can’t.
A house that needs kitchen or bathrooms remodeled. We have evaluated our priorities and realized we can’t do a lot of work. We’ve done it before and we lost our shirts. Absolutely NO.

Must Haves:
Places for everyone. They don’t have to be big, but between a work-at-home hubby and homeschooling, we need a lot from a house.
A playroom. If traveling has taught me anything, it’s that Jim and I can work pretty much anywhere, and that Legos need a room of their own. With a door. Amen.
A kitchen from this century
A decent yard for the kids to wreck

Would Be Nice:
Gas cooking
Hardwood floors
Two bathrooms
Non-dungeon basement laundry. Laundry in a finished basement is acceptable. Laundry on the main level would be excellent. Laundry on the bedroom level would make me swoon. My real fantasy is to have laundry on the main level and the bedroom level, so I could wash kitchen towels separately from clothes, but I need to stay connected to reality.

Obviously my complete list is much longer and more detailed, but I don’t want y’all to think I am cray-cray.

Wish us luck!