Random Monday

In CategoryRandom Monday
ByDeb

Random-Monday-Main-Final

 

• I think Kanye is trying to turn Kim into Beyonce. She seems to be going blonder lately. Just saying. It’s hard to know who to pity more in that pairing. He’s stuck with all those Kardashians, and she’s stuck with Kanye.

• Here’s a story about a boy who was suspended from school for having a keychain with a tiny (not real, duh) gun on it the size of a quarter. Meanwhile in Manhatten, a teacher who got caught bringing TWENTY BAGS of heroin to jury duty was given his job back when a judge said firing him was “excessive.”

All criminal charges were dropped after he served one day of treatment.

ONE DAY!

TWENTY BAGS!

But really, those itty-bitty GI Joe guns are the devil.

We live in Bizarro World now.

• Best Story Ever: Britney Spears music is being blasted on ships of the coast of Africa, to scare off pirates.

• List of phrases that I would like to never hear again:

Pop of Color

I am guilty of saying this, but I roll my eyes at myself every time I do.

Wow Factor

Really? Everything has to be all WOW! GOLLY GEE WHIZ! all the time? How about the Relaxing and Sedate Factor? Or the That Is Very Practical Factor? Not exciting enough, I guess.

Looking around my house, I don’t see a lot of Wow Factor. I think some of you might say I have a bit of What The Hell Were You Thinking? Factor. I prefer to think of it as the Killer Deal! Factor though. Plus I have a lot of It Fit So I Bought It In Every Color! Factor. The other day, I unearthed my lone pair of jeans and decided maybe I should have a few more pairs. Five minutes on the internet and I now have 4 more pairs of the exact same jean. BAM! Now I don’t have to think about jeans again for 3 years. I feel sort of Wow-ish about it, actually.

Oh, I bought some new Christmas lights! That might be Wow. They are clear, though. I don’t know. I’ll have to show you and see what you think.

Putting out Fires

I worked for a guy once who always said, “oh, you know, just putting out fires.” whenever anyone asked him how work was going. It was so maddening. I was all like, “um, no you aren’t. we just got back from Starbucks.”  But not out loud.

At the End of the Day

Just plain annoying.

• Happy Monday, y’all!

 

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