In CategoryNavel Gazing

Scene: Feeling bummed after a crappy day

Me: Do you think I should think about antidepressants?

Jim: I don’t know, do you?

Me: I don’t know. One of my friends is looking into a hormone therapy that is supposed to help with all this peri-menopause crap. My position has always been that I didn’t want to do anything like that, this is how God made us and I should tough it out. But I don’t know now. This sucks.

Me, glumly: Maybe God doesn’t like women.

Jim: I think maybe He doesn’t like MEN.


Scene: Aftermath of Misplaced-Wedding-Ring-Freakout

Me: I took it off to put lotion on. I get these little itchy dry spots under my ring because I’m always washing my hands and washing dishes and cleaning…

Jim: Maybe you should quit washing stuff.



Scene: Combing Big’s hair after a shower

Big: MOM! STOP! I just combed my hair LAST WEEK!


Scene: Snuggling with Little

Little, seriously: Mom. Everyone knows I’m the funniest one in the family, right?


Scene: Kissing kids goodbye as I head out the door to my Knitting Group

Big: MOM! Don’t get lipstick on me! I’m a MAN!



Random Monday

In CategoryRandom Monday



• I’m here! I’m here! I know, I have been gone from this space lately (thank you, Julie, for checking on me! that makes me feel so happy when you guys notice I’m not around much). I’ve been busy doing Real Life. Real Life is decidedly less glamorous than Internet Life. There’s a lot more dirty laundry and dirty dishes, for one thing. I still love you all. I still read all your blogs and tweets, I just suck at commenting (my new iPad doesn’t let me comment. I love my iPad, but come on. People need to comment, Steve).

Anyway. I’m going to try harder.

On to the stories!

• Here’s an interesting story about a guy in his twenties who apparently ran the eBay of illegal substances from a Starbucks, and amassed billions of dollars in Bitcoin until he got caught. Apparently he also hired a hit man to rub out (heh) people who were going to rat him out to the Feds.

I get what a Bitcoin is, but how do you convert it to cash? Also, do I have anything I can sell for this ridiculously-named Monopoly money? Like, obviously I am not going to be a hitman (hitwoman? hitperson?), or traffic in drugs, but maybe someone will pony up some Bitcoins for ideas? I have a never ending supply of ideas. Like, one time I had an idea for a high chair with a slot that a baby bowl can click into so your kid can’t throw it on the floor (those suction-cup bowls are useless). But I never did anything about it, nor made a zillion dollars selling it. Now look, someone will take that idea and get rich and I’ll still be here thinking $4 is too much to spend on a shirt.

• Here is yet another interesting and gutsy post by Penelope Trunk about lies we all tell ourselves about childcare. I know some of you don’t like Penelope, but you can’t deny she questions popular views. I find myself agreeing with a lot of this post.

Attitudes about public school and childcare in this country remind me of The Emperor’s New Clothes, in that we’ve collectively closed our eyes to things that are so obviously true, and have been doing so for so long that we’ve lost the ability to see altogether.

Like those fishes that live in caves and have no eyes.

Or my husband and that pile of dirty socks he keeps by his side of the bed.

• Last week, Jim and I were hanging out with my best friend TeeVee, and someone mispronounced a Latin word and I not only RECOGNIZED it as Latin, I knew it was WRONG, because I am a Latin PRODIGY, practically, because I know 5 words now.

It was very exciting. I made Jim rewind while I crowed about it.

• Happy Monday, y’all! MWAH!


In CategoryHome Schooling

So here’s an interesting tidbit on assignments in the New and Super Awesome Common Core of Education Excellence

A mother in the Bryant School District in Arkansas — a district using the controversial Common Core curriculum — was surprised to learn her sixth-grade daughter was given a team assignment to revise the Bill of Rights, pruning two amendments from the Constitution while adding two others, Twitchy reported Monday, citing a report at the Digital Journal.

The assignment made the assumption that the United States government has determined that the Bill of Rights “is outdated and may not remain in its current form any longer.”

The children were to assume the persona of “experts on the Constitution and the Bill of Rights” in their aim to ensure that “the pursuit of happiness remains guarded in the 21st century,” despite the fact that the phrase “pursuit of happiness” exists in the Declaration of Independence, not the Constitution.

The article goes on to further say that the 6th grader had never had any instruction in Civics or the Constitution.

Look around people. We are disintegrating.

One of the commenters quoted Sun Tzu –

To win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the supreme excellence.


Random Monday – The one where I bought stuff

In CategoryRandom Monday


• So New Friend turned me on to this website, Zulily, which is a discount site that probably everyone already knows about. I have ordered eleventy-hundred things from them, including a whole raft of Birkenstocks for THIRTY DOLLARS A PAIR.

please to enjoy my stellar photography skillz

ANYway, I ordered a turquoise tote bag a while back and have been looking forward to its arrival. It came Friday while I was out, and the mailman left one of those “Sorry we missed you” notes on the door. The note has a box that says “for redelivery, go to Naturally, I was like, “Cool! I don’t have to GO anywhere, OR talk to another human!”

So I logon to, input all the information, including a 350-digit Article Number and get this notice:

Stupid Post Office

First of all, who can READ print that tiny? In case you can’t, it says  – ON the page – that I should go to TO ARRANGE REDELIVERY.

And then my head exploded and many, many, (oh so very, very many) cursewords came out.

• I recently fell in love with vintage Pyrex and decided to start a small collection. I know, it seems silly. I am not a collect-y kind of person (yarn doesn’t count. shut up). But every time I open my cabinet and see the happy little patterns, it makes me happy. One day on a whim, I checked eBay, and in a moment of weakness bid on an adorable little set of Pink Gooseberry.

Here’s two of them –

yep, that’s my finger. talented!

Here’s the third –


Boo. So sad.

Oh well. The lady did refund me a portion of my payment, and I was satisfied with that. Perhaps it’s a sign I should continue my hunt in the thrift stores and not on the internets.

• My favorite recent purchase of all, though, is this FANTASTIC orange chair.

yes, I still like orange

You’ll never believe – it was SIXTY-FIVE DOLLARS.

I know. That is cringe-worthy for some of you. But trust me, this chair has no smell, no stains, no nothing. My shopping pals suggested that the original owner kept it in plastic for years, and I think they might be right. I tightened the legs and it’s solid as a rock. A happy, orange tweed rock.

In any event, I love it. Jim made a Doubtful Face when I brought it in, but I ignored him.

• Happy Monday, y’all! It’s Fall, the best time of the year!