Now I have this song stuck in my head.

In CategoryNavel Gazing


Big Scary Announcement

In CategoryAdventure, Navel Gazing

**Deep Breath**

Okay, ‘member that time when I found that amazing pencil sharpener and I loved it so much, and I wrote about it all over the place and I even gave some of them away?

Well, I convinced Jim that homeschoolers need these things.

And then I convinced the guy who sold me ours to sell me a bunch more.

And then I built a website, signed up to be a vendor at a Curriculum Fair in Utah, and figured out how to take credit cards on my phone.


So that’s it.

That’s the big, scary announcement.

I am the proud new owner of a small business selling pencil sharpeners to homeschoolers.

Best Pencil Sharpener Ever

It’s Adventure, Part Deux.

Is that more or less plausible than going to Utah to find a sister-wife?

I am going to do a give away in the next few weeks, and also maybe figure out how to do a coupon code for free shipping.

Check it out. Tell me what you think.

Especially if you see any grammar mistakes.

Random Monday

In CategoryRandom Monday



• I am going to write the Big Announcement-y post tomorrow, so do not worry, you will know soon. Be kind, I was not kidding about being nervous to tell you. Is it confessing my chronic misuse of commas? Ooh, the suspense!

• The trip to Utah has something to do with it. We took I-70 to get there, which is a beautiful drive. Truly spectacular. We drove through Vail. Vail is very fancy. I saw a house with a strange-looking turret, and then finally realized it was a private observatory.


Who has that much money? That’s a whole ‘nother level of rich.

• I told my sister we were going away for the weekend –


• We talked about Sister Wives several times while in Utah:

Jim: It’s pretty here

Me: It is, isn’t it? We should move here.

Jim: Can we get some more wives if we do?

Me: Heck, yeah! I need to shift some of this workload, you know what I’m saying? I’ll be the wife who…

(and at this point I paused to swallow my Pringles, because I am POLITE that way, JIM)

Jim: ….bosses everyone?

Me: wordless gesture

• Another car conversation, this one while the kids were playing some obnoxious game (involving buffalo, because don’t they all?) they tried to drag me into.

Me: I’m not part of this game, and while we’re on the subject, knock it off.

Little: Mommy, you are the only person who can take something fun and make it boring.

Me: I suck that way.


• The drive home was almost unbearable. UNBEARABLE. For some reason, I-70 was wall-to-wall people all up in my way, and what should have been a two-hour drive was stop and go for FIVE HOURS.


I may or may not have thought about ramming gently tapping the guy in front of me, because at least that way I’d probably get to ride in a cop car and probably wouldn’t have to sit in traffic.

• Happy Monday, y’all! Link up while you still can!

The $20 Desk

In CategoryAdventures in Decorating

When we moved into this house, you may recall that we had pretty much zero furniture, and a budget of about four dollars to rectify that situation.

I planned to get a kitchen table and have the kids do schoolwork on that. They did not like that idea. They were too far away from me.

So I let them work on the dining room table I am currently using as a desk. That way they were right beside me, I could still kvetch on Twitter, and it was mostly okay.

But then their crap was all over my desk; Big complained endlessly and bitterly about the uneven table top; and they blew erasures all over my arm.

So I started trolling Craig’s List for a desk. Just a small student desk with three drawers. We found one that looked perfect online and went to pick it up.

It reeked of cigarette smoke. REEKED. Jim apparently could not say No to the old, nicotine encrusted couple and stuffed it in the back of the car while I looked on doubtfully.

And then we had to drive home with all the windows rolled down because DUDE. It was BAD. The whole way home I asked, “do you want to just donate this to Goodwill and cut our losses?” But the more I asked, the more stubborn he got.

Obviously, the minute we got home, we chucked the desk into the garage to air out and headed to Home Depot.

We bought TSP and Kilz and some turquoise paint.

Here is Jim, going to war with the desk –


I had my doubts about this whole thing, for reals. I cannot abide the smell of cigarette smoke and I was not going to have even a whiff of it in my house. The TSP worked wonders, and the Kilz (three cans!) put a stop to any residual odor.

After –



The kids picked the paint color, and Controlly Mom was surprisingly relaxed about it. It’s their desk after all. What’s the worst that could happen? I put chalkboard paint on the table top (Controlly Mom is not planning on letting them chalk on it, though. Do you know what kind of mess that makes? I have enough stuff to clean, plus also I suck). The turquoise is my standard homemade chalk paint. Not be be confused with chalkboard paint.

I know. It’s confusing.

There is not even the faintest reminder that it was coated in nicotine – and believe me, I have a super sniffer and wouldn’t have let it in the house if it smelled. The three drawers are perfect for the kids, and the mid-century legs appeal to me.

So there you go. I probably would not got through that again, but it worked out great and we are very happy with the results.

Of course it cost significantly more than $20 by the time it was all over, between the TSP, the rubber gloves, the twenty-seven kinds of paint (chalkboard spray paint, regular chalkboard paint, Kilz spray paint, Kilz roll-on paint, the turquoise paint….), but we don’t focus on that.

Once again, Other People’s Crap makes me happy.