This Never Happens With Oreos

In CategoryNavel Gazing
ByDeb

So the other night, I was doing a bunch of cooking for the freezer, as is my wont, and I was making Green Chile and Tomatillo Pork Stew (which is quite possibly the BEST THING EVER).

I was actually cooking a ton of stuff at the same time, because at some point I would like to sit on my butt and watch television instead of cook dinner all the dadgum time, you know what I’m saying?

So I was sauteing onions and chopping jalapenos, and giving Jim directions on what to get me out of the pantry, when a jalapeno seed flew in my eye.

A JALAPENO SEED. IN MY EYE.

MY EYE, PEOPLE.

As you may know, the seeds contain a majority of the HEAT in a pepper.

I race to the sink, shrieking “ohmygosh-ohmygosh-ohmygosh” over and over again, trying to pry open my eyes to rip my contacts out and flush them with water, but then realizing that my hands were covered with jalapeno oils and I was actually making it worse, and I’m essentially blinded and blinking and flushing and I can FEEL the SEED burning a HOLE IN MY RETINA, practically, and I’m washing my hands and trying to scoop cold water into my face and I can feel the seed up under my eyelid and it was basically a whole THING.

In between gasps of AGONY, I still managed to give Jim instructions, telling him to turn down the onions and open the tomato paste for me. Multitasking!

After all the hubbub settled down and we determined I didn’t need to go to the stupid EMERGENCY ROOM on MEMORIAL DAY, which surely would have been a cheap visit, Jim asked me if I would rather have a jalapeno pepper in my eye, or an ant.

I still don’t know.

8 Responses to “This Never Happens With Oreos”

  1. Lisa Says:

    Seriously … an ant and a jalapeno seed? Are you blessed or what? I can’t help but laugh my head off … sorry.
    Lisa´s last blog post ..Smoothie Heaven

  2. hikooky Says:

    omgeeee! OH. Well I’m glad you’re okay. Now. You don’t know how I wish it were my wont to cook lots of things. Then again, LOOK HOW DANGEROUS.

  3. Dawn Says:

    That was my thought, Kooky! Looks like safety goggles might be in order, Deb. Cooking is dangerous!

  4. Aerona Says:

    (Next time) you or someone you know gets pepper parts in the eye, use milk to flush the eye. Works like a charm! Not sure how I came up with that in the midst of thinking I was dying, but it worked almost instantly.

  5. Diane Says:

    Thanks so much for your encouraging words today. Speaking of pepper incidents, do you remember mine from last year? I was cutting tons of them up for drying and my hands started burning. I had to go to bed holding an ice pack. Lasted for hours and hours. Hope you didn’t have that lengthy of an issue with your eye. I learned next time where rubber gloves and maybe you should wear goggles. lol.
    Blessings
    Diane
    Diane´s last blog post ..TOS Review – See The Light – Art Projects – Dreams of Joseph

  6. Kevin Says:

    I remember making and eating a meal entirely of jalepeno poppers and feeling the burn both coming and going. I can’t imagine touching my eyes like that. Please don’t make me.

    An ant, too! Wow. One incident is just a point, but two is a trend. Your eyes may very well be a preternatural magnet. I’m with the girls here: go go google goggles!

  7. Happy Elf Mom Says:

    Ohhhhh poor you!! I’m just aching for you! Are you all better now?
    Happy Elf Mom´s last blog post ..The Contents of My Fridge

  8. Eddie - The Usual Mayhem Says:

    Ant. Definitely ant. At least they’re less likely to burn you.

    I’m still laughing over the use of “dadgum” in the first part of your post. I really need to work that one into conversation more often.
    Eddie – The Usual Mayhem´s last blog post ..Hearts For Home Blog Hop #19!