• Actual conversation:
Jim, cleaning the bathroom: You should knit something for the toilet paper in here.
Me: What are you talking about? You mean like little hats?
Sometimes, people. Sometimes I just don’t know about that one.
• My daughter has entered this new phase where she stays up too late chattering to herself and then doesn’t get enough sleep and then she whines all day and then I want to stab myself in the ears with those little forks they give you to get all the crab out of the crab legs. Crabs: Spiders of the Sea.
• Jim’s mom bought the kids their first real bike this weekend. After a year and a half of Go-Gliding, they got the hang of pedaling in about 5 minutes. LITERALLY five minutes. We skipped over that whole training-wheels thing, which I am super happy about because as you know, running up and down the street while my kids learn to bicycle is not on my list of things to do. If you see me running, you better believe it’s because a scary clown is chasing me. A scary clown with a knife. I’d probably fight a clown that didn’t have a weapon, just to avoid running.
What was I talking about?
Anyway. If you have kids who are that Getting-Their-First-Bike age, I cannot recommend a Glide Bike strongly enough. Even Jim is all like, “wow, you should write a review on their website, those things were amazing.” Which he said from the comfort of his lawn chair while the kids raced around the cul-de-sac. I should add that it didn’t take them a year and a half to learn how to glide, it just took us that long to buy real bikes because of all the adventuring and plus because we suck.
• Happy Monday, y’all! Happy Memorial Day! Think of those who gave their lives for us and grill a steak. That’s what I’m gonna do. I guess you vegetarians could grill a slab of tofu or some lentils or whatever. Whatever sounds better.
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