• I had a whole bunch of mental notes about what I wanted to write today, but they’ve all disappeared. That’s what I get for trusting the mental part of my life.
• I went out yesterday to run some errands and discovered that the shopping area in our new city is full of traffic roundabouts.
I hate roundabouts. I hate them with a fiery passion. I never know what to do. Never. What if I want to turn left, for example? I start out the roundabout in the inner lane, BUT THEN I need switch to the outer lane at some point so I can turn. Are you allowed to switch lanes in a roundabout? What about all those yield signs? No one ever yields for me, I am always in the way of someone who has no patience for a 41 year old navigating a new traffic thingamajig. I JUST WANT TO TURN LEFT PEOPLE.
And then, of course, what happens is that I am trying to navigate this nonsense while I am going to Costco with my Best Friend and I go around and around and then get spit out going the exact same direction I just CAME from while she sits there and pretends that she is not either super annoyed with my ineptness or in fear for her life.
Anyway. I hate roundabouts.
Oh, plus, PLUS! they have this thing where instead of a green arrow to turn left (which would mean “sure, go ahead and turn. I won’t let anyone broadside you”) or a solid green circle to turn left (which means “okay, you can turn, but it’s on you if you get hit, so watch yourself there, girlie”), we now have some kind of blinking yellow arrow, which is NOT to be confused with the REGULAR yellow arrow (which means “you better git to gittin”), but instead seems to mean the same as a solid green circle (“you can turn, but yield to that big truck or you’re toast).
The blinking yellow is confusing. It’s not fair to just invent new traffic things and expect old ladies to know how to navigate them. There should be an announcement. Or maybe someone could have clued me in when I renewed my driver’s license. Something. Instead, I’m just driving down the street, down streets I’ve driven down for years, and there are blinking yellow lights.
Meanwhile, I had lunch with a friend who was telling me she went to the city to complain that the walk signal is not long enough for anyone to actually get across the street, and they told her that it was impossible to change the lights. Suurrrre it is.
I should delete all that. You guys are going to start thinking I’m a 76 year old granny. I also hate learning how to operate the DVR remote.
• I am sorry I have been absent from here. I have been super busy scouring Craig’s List for cheap furniture. I have scored some AMAZING deals, man. AND I did not get murdered, not even once! But I don’t know how much you guys care about that. Does anyone really want to hear me crow about how I talked some guy down $35 on the cutest little nightstand, which I then painted a very light blue-green with the chalk paint recipe from Pinterest and now I am a furniture buying and refinishing FIEND? Anyone?
How about how as I was painting my new super adorable nightstand, my husband told me that I had gotten paint in my hair, but when I went to go look, all I found was my regular gray hairs that are always there? So I either suddenly have so many gray hairs that people mistake it for a giant blob of PAINT in my hair, or it’s been a while since my husband actually looked at me.
• Happy Monday, y’all! Link up with your own Randomness below! Don’t forget to vote on the “do you want to see pictures of my house” issue!