It was just a burgler alarm

In CategoryNavel Gazing
ByDeb

So Monday morning at some-unholy-number-that-starts-with-a-five, Jim and I were awakened by a siren.

Wait, let me back up.

Sunday night when I went to bed, the Weather Channel app on my phone showed 3 Severe Weather Alerts – high wind, flooding, and landslides.

Then we awoke to a really loud siren. We are about 100 yards from the beach, six blocks from the mouth of a flood-happy river, and at the base of a hill.

We stumbled around for a bit, peering into the dark and trying to see where it was coming from. We even called the police station to see if there it was a Flood Alarm or Landslide Alarm or Holy Crap The World Is Ending, Get The Hell Out Alarm.

The switchboard operator assured us that she didn’t know what it was. Which was comforting.

Eventually, it got a little lighter outside, and Jim decided to go investigate. Just as the door clicked shut behind him, I saw that he had forgotten his phone.

I promptly chastised him when he came back in. “Dude! You can’t just go outside in a storm like that and forget your phone! What if it was the Zombie Apocalypse and you had no way to tell me?”

“And what would you do if it were?” he asked dryly.

“I would grab the kids and run while you sacrificed yourself for our safety, OBVIOUSLY.” **

Silence.

“Well, if zombies are coming, I suggest you put on some pants.”

** That IS obvious right? Isn’t that in the Husband Handbook? That they sacrifice themselves for us? Maybe laying on the ground, with one arm outstretched, gasping in a Captain Kirk-esque voice, “getting…cold……can’t…feel…my…legs…….save yourself….”

Speaking of the Husband Handbook, Jim’s mom called on Sunday. He was watching football, the kids were playing legos, I was knitting, and it was one of those lovely afternoons where no one is fighting over toys and it’s not time to cook dinner yet. I was half-listening to his end of the conversation when I heard him invite her to come visit us. Without discussing it with me first. Just all of a sudden, he’s giving her directions on what airport to fly into.

I think Jim needs Re-Education Camp.

8 Responses to “It was just a burgler alarm”

  1. Eddie Says:

    Maybe Families 101 Boot Camp!

    If my spouse invited his mother, who I love but would NOT want to share a house with, without consulting me, I’d …wait, that has happened before and the Evil Shrieking Woman made an extended visit of her own, especially when I discovered that on my own birthday I would now be cleaning up after, hosting, and cooking two meals for 13 people.

    This was a long time ago and he did survive Boot Camp.

    Never mind sacrifice. Throw him to the zombies if he ever does it again. :)
    Eddie´s last blog post ..Winter Hideaway Wednesday – the bear cave, foraging, and more.

  2. Kristy Says:

    I am so happy it was not the Zombie Apocalypse.
    Kristy´s last blog post ..Take a Powder

  3. Happy Elf Mom Says:

    Didn’t you start travelling to get away from your crazy family? And here you pack them up and take them with you. :)
    Happy Elf Mom´s last blog post ..How to Deal With Evil Republicans This Thanksgiving.

  4. Nan | wrathofmom.blogspot.ca Says:

    I have decided that when the Zombie Apocalypse happens, I’m going to give myself over to the zombie hoardes. It seems really taxing and ultimately futile to be one of the last survivors of the human race. I’m just not up for that stress.

    Did you ever find out the cause of the alarm?
    Nan | wrathofmom.blogspot.ca´s last blog post ..If you stand still for a second you can hear Jim Henson turning over in his grave.

  5. Deb Says:

    It was a burgler alarm at the house across the street. I guess there was so much debris flying around, it triggered the alarm. It was VERY LOUD.

    I realized that we totally could have been looting neighboring houses during the storm, but at that point it was too late. Darn it

  6. maysdays Says:

    About 15 years ago, my friends and I had outlined- in detail- Boyfriend Training School, which obviously segued into…the obvious. And it is so very needed! If only they would go…

  7. Robin Jingjit Says:

    That’s better than my in-laws, who sometimes call to tell us they’re on the way. And other times just arrive at our door.

    The worst is when we’re out. We’ll get a call, ‘We’ll be there in 20 minutes, and sometimes we have to answer, well… ok… we’ll be there in 30.”
    Robin Jingjit´s last blog post ..Jeez, universe. I wasn’t serious.

  8. Connie Weiss Says:

    Oh Jim. He’s lost his cotton-pickin MIND!!

    I love reading these posts to my husband. We call them…Adventures with Jim and Deb!
    Connie Weiss´s last blog post ..FrankenTurkey