• The other day I noticed my daughter playing with my contact lens case while she was sitting on the potty.
And then I had to spend the rest of the day pouring bleach into my eyeballs.
• Speaking of disgusting bathroom stories (I KNOW! It’s your lucky day!), I made Big clean the toilet again. I taunted him not to pick his nose during the process.
He didn’t think it was funny, but I didn’t really care. I was amused.
• So the New York Public School System is going to start handing out the Morning After Pill to kids as young as 14. Without parental consent.
I don’t know what is going on in this country. I really don’t. This story makes me want to cry.
• In other Good Government Ideas news, California is now going to allow self-driving cars. So that will probably be fine.
• Japanese Beauty Trend: Bagel Forehead. Click at your own risk. You will never be able to unsee that. What I want to know is how stretched out your forehead skin gets doing this. Like, will you need a forehead-tuck when you grow up and come to your senses? Why is this cool? I don’t get it. Do they put a big rhinestone in there or something?
I will send One Crisp American Dollar to anyone who does this and sends me a picture.
• Happy Monday, y’all! Link up your own randomness below!