TEEEEVEEEEEEEE

In CategoryNavel Gazing
ByDeb

Fall television is here!

I love tv, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

Well, maybe a little ashamed.

You’ll be relieved to know that I spent an hour on Tuesday morning getting our TV Viewing Schedule figured out. When we were normal people, we had a dvr and we recorded everything. Now that we are traveling, none of the houses have a dvr and some of them don’t have cable at all.

I KNOW!

So watching television is a thing. I have to figure out what we can watch live, which is pretty much zilch (ugh. live tv blows, man. all those commercials!), what we can watch on Hulu+,and what we are willing to pay for on Amazon. We have a Roku box, so we watch most everything through that. Except Person of Interest and The Mentalist, which CBS does not make available in any alternative format because they hate me.

I have a spreadsheet. Don’t laugh. I have a spreadsheet for everything, so it’s not as lame as it sounds. Or maybe it’s more lame…whichever.

Jim is looking forward to some new show called Revolution. Apparently it’s about post-apocalyptic America? I don’t know. I can see from the description that it will probably annoy me. For one thing, while living without my iPhone would be AWFUL, there was – and I don’t think I am speaking out of turn here – a pretty big segment of history wherein people survived without electricity.

We are reading the Little House series, so I know all about it.

Probably not having a hair dryer would be pretty hard. One time I took a shower right before bed and didn’t dry my hair. When I woke up, ALL OF IT was sticking STRAIGHT UP. It was like if Elvis’s hair and Vanilla Ice’s hair had a hair baby. I came down the stairs and Big said, “mom, maybe you should go take a little shower.” I went around all morning saying, “thank you very much” in my best Elvis voice, but I was the only one who thought it was funny.

Secondly, what about wind or solar power? Also, just because all the electronics die, what about the people who know how to fix that stuff? It’s not like we woke up one day and there were satellites and microwaves and cars that can park themselves. Someone MADE them. Probably they could do it again.

Anyway. Grouchy and judgey without ever having seen the show! Just another service I offer.

Jim also makes us watch NCIS and NCIS:LA. Because he was in the Navy, so we must watch everything that is even tangentially related. And then whenever something comes on the screen that isn’t accurate, like someone is wearing their dress uniform wrong, I get to listen to him rant about it. It’s super fun.

I am looking forward to the return of The Good Wife, Community, and Scandal.

Sister Wives can come back whenever they are ready too. I want them to tell us why they want 4 houses instead of one great big house like they had before. Am I the only person who wants to know that? Polygamy is so fascinating. I don’t think I could do it, though. Unless all the other wives would do everything I said. If I could boss people around and they actually obeyed me, I might be able to make it work.