I have seen more than one episode of American Hogger.
Don’t laugh. I’m embarrassed enough as it is.
Now, lest you judge too quickly, let me tell you that this show is FULL of all kinds of Awesome.
For one thing, this guy wears this hat -
Look at the size of that thing! It’s as wide as his shoulders!
I have seen a lot of hats in my day. Colorado has a lot of Texans and a lot of cowboys, and I have NEVER seen a hat that big. The first time I saw it, I thought it was a joke. What is that, like a 200 gallon hat? I laugh every time he comes on the screen.
The hat reminds me of Speedy Gonzales a little bit.
Secondly, the patriarch is this guy -
- who is rocking a pretty excellent hat himself. I can’t understand a thing he says, except it’s all laced with profanity.
He reminds me of Paw on the Hillbilly Bears. I can’t understand him either.
Plus, I think it would be kind of fun to tear around the countryside on a horse, wearing pink chaps and a six gun and shooting at stuff.
All right – now you. Are you watching Toddlers and Tiaras? The Kardashians? Parking Wars?
Spill it. I’m clearly in no position to judge.