Issues Facing the Temporarily Single Mom
• Like, am I supposed to take this empty pizza box out to the trash all by myself or what?
• How much television can I let the kids watch before I should start feeling ashamed of myself?
• Will the kids notice if I move bedtime to 6:30?
• These Cheddar Cheese Pringles are gross.
• How many baths am I expected to give when Dad’s out of town? One? I can do more, but only if I don’t have to wash little girl hair, condition little girl hair, or brush, blow dry, and braid little girl hair. I mean, come on. There’s a limit to how much even a spectacular mother can accomplish, and I already took the trash out today (the kids showed me where it was).
• Speaking of showers, I can’t remember when I last took one. Huh. Better pencil that in before he gets home. How can I keep an eye out for axe murderers if I take a shower? Vexing.
• No matter how many times I tell him I don’t want to hear it, every evening while he’s away, Jim calls and regales me with tales of the fancy dinners he’s eating. Korean Barbecue, Steak, Chinese… So rude. Do I sit there and wax poetic about my all-you-can eat buffet of string cheese and dry frosted mini wheats that I scrounge after finally wrestling the kids in bed at 8:30? No. No, I do not.