And then I died laughing

In CategoryNavel Gazing

Last Thursday, I foolishly decided to take a shower in the middle of the day and told my kids they needed to behave while I did so. Three minutes later, I heard arguing, and hollered at them to knock it off and play like normal children.

The arguing continues.

I yell at them to sit in the corner until I am finished –

so mean! yes, I send my kids to the corner. fancier people call it “time out.”

– and three minutes after that, Big comes into the bathroom whimpering that his sister came over with no provocation whatsoever and bit him on the hand.

I send him back to the corner because I think it would be an awesome change of pace to deal with problems with some clothes on for the love of pete! and finished my shower.

The instant the shower turns off, they both materialize in the bathroom pleading their respective cases. Because when I am still dripping wet from a rushed shower during which I screeched so loud I think I broke my larynx is totally the moment I give a flying crap about whatever thing they are fighting about.

You know. Because I rock at being a mom that way.

Big says that Little came over and bit him. I ask her, “did you bite your brother?” and she says “yes.” So I say, “why?” and she goes, “he kept sticking his tongue out at me.”

So I turn to Big and say, “did you provoke your sister?” and he looks at me, the very picture of innocence, except for the one little muscle at the corner of his mouth that gives him away, and says “no, I was just sitting there, thinking about how I was going to start behaving.”

Random Monday

In CategoryRandom Monday

• I like the blog Three Degrees of Freedom. This is a great post – Unreasonable. I wish she wrote more often.

• I heart Calvin –

• I like watching Men’s Gymnastics. But maybe change the outfit a bit? Say, short shorts and no shirt?

You know. Just so we can fully appreciate the athleticism.

• This is funny –

• Happy Monday, y’all!

Deep Thoughts

In CategoryNavel Gazing

So. The Olympics.

• In 2010, I spent quite a bit of time developing what might be described as a Bordering-On-Inappropriate crush on Apolo Ohno. So much awesomeness in such a deliciously-thighed package.

• I like the Winter Olympics more than the Summer Olympics, in part for one very important reason: curling. I love curling.

• I don’t really “get” the athletic drive. Not only can I not imagine working out 8 hours a day for 4 years for an event that will be over a 1.23 minutes, I can’t even imagine cutting back on cookies.

So there you go.

The Great Pinterest Challenge

In CategoryNailed It or Failed It

A couple weeks ago, a group of us were chatting at our homeschool support group on Twitter, and an idea sprang up that we should each do a project from Pinterest and then blog about it.

And then someone, who may or may not have been myself, suggested that instead of choosing our own projects, we should assign them to each other for added hilarity.

And then someone, who may or may not have been myself, started bossing everyone via email  organizing people to within an inch of their lives  encouraging the participants to choose a project and a date when we would all blog simultaneously about our adventures.

The day has arrived.

Melanie (aka Fairly Square), decided I should do an experiment to see if floating part of a Magic Eraser in the toilet overnight would clean it because she wants to know but is too cheap to waste a perfectly good Magic Eraser.

After determining that my toilets, were in fact, really disgusting suitable for the experiment, I moved to figuring out how on earth I was going to take a picture of a gross potty without dragging down the tone of this heretofore classy blog, which I have heroically, practically, kept elevated by declining to talk about things like visits to the gynecologist.

My project hit a little snag when my husband cleaned the toilets the day before I was planning on starting the experiment.

There is no way I could have predicted this happening.

Fortunately, after expressing my disappointment regarding his inconsiderate sudden bathroom cleaning –

I’m sorry, I did what? told him to stop cleaning the bathroom? what kind of an idiot does something like that?

the last bit of my common sense whimpered, then died a quiet death I realized there was still plenty of time for the bathrooms to get back to their normal revolting state.

Before –

I cut about a quarter of a Magic Eraser off and dropped it into the toilet.

The kids and I stood around silently and watched it sink to the bottom.

Finally, Big said, “how are you going to get it out?”

The next morning, we all went into the bathroom to see what happened.

After –

I took the toilet brush and shoved the Magic Eraser around the still-dirty bowl a little and it did wipe off all the nastiness easily…but isn’t that what a toilet brush is for? I didn’t see that adding a dollar’s worth of Magic Eraser to the mix made it any easier.

We held our breath and flushed.

Happily, I did not need to employ the plunger.

I remained undaunted, and decided to try again on the second potty in this house. Lucky for me, we have two and they are both filthy.

The next night, I hacked off another quarter of the Magic Eraser and cut it into cubes. The more, the merrier, right? They sank to the bottom and laid there until the next morning when they, too, got flushed.


I didn’t really think it would work, but a tiny part of me held out hope that I had found the Secret of the Universe and that the Secret was How to Clean the Bathroom With No Effort.

Even if it had worked, though, I still would have to do something about the rest of the toilet and the surrounding area (if you know what I mean).

Resigned, I poured bleach into the bowl and made a note to clean the stupid bathroom later.




Visit my Twitter pals to see if their projects turned out better –