Adventures in Shopping

In CategoryNavel Gazing

Yes, it’s that time again.

My kids have this super annoying habit of outgrowing their clothes all the dadgum time. Little, in particular, is a repeat offender – she is five years old and off the height charts. I buy her a size 8 shirt so she doesn’t look like a midriff-baring mini-hoochie.

I knew I would have to go clothes shopping when we got back to civilization, so Saturday I found my Kohl’s card and hit the shops.

What is this? A poncho with a seam? Are sleeves passé now? Do they think little girls don’t move their arms? Also, it’s misspelled. That’s annoying.

I declined to spend $24 on this item.

How about a tank top for summer?

Thirty dollars? No thank you.

Then there was this –

Thirty-eight dollars.

THIRTY-EIGHT DOLLARS. For chiffon. Chiffon! For a child!

I clearly do not understand elementary fashion.

Plus also I do not spend that kind of money on clothes whose sole purpose is to get smeared with dirt and peanut butter.

Actually, even if my kids sat primly in chairs and did nothing all day but conjugate Latin and never grew any taller, I would not spend $38 on their clothes. Hai, I’m a tightwad.

ANYway, I said Goodbye to Kohl’s, with their expensive crazy-ass little-girl-old-lady shirts, and Hello to my favorite thrift store.

Sixteen articles of clothing. Brands include The Gap and Old Navy. Total cost: $37.

Personal Motto: Never Pay Retail.

(there are no stains on anything – I just excel at picture-taking)