Oh Good.

In CategoryNavel Gazing

Finally someone has come along to tell me how much soda I should drink at the movies. If there’s one thing I’m tired of, it’s making all these decisions. It’s exhausting wondering if what I make for lunch is acceptable. They’ve already solved the salt problem, now Mayor Bloomberg turns his laser focus onto Large Beverages.

If only they could find a way to make us all eat Kale.

I’ll tell you one thing, if they starts messing around with chocolate, I’m moving to Canada.

Oooh! Or opening a sugary, salty, chocolate-y den of iniquity! Like a speakeasy. With those hidden compartments to hide all the good European chocolate and Pringles. “What? no, no Mr. Government Man, we don’t have any sweets here… would you like a lawn-clipping smoothie?”

And then I’ll tear around in one of those mobster-looking cars with the squinty windows. But my tommy-gun will shoot chocolate chips and tiny salt packets.

And I’ll have a good reason to wear a trench coat.