Random Monday

In CategoryRandom Monday
ByDeb

• We are leaving this house a week from today. I can’t wait. Bizarrely, I am looking forward to some sunshine. And maybe some t-shirt temperatures. It was 37 degrees when I got up the other morning. Thirty-seven degrees. I am tired of being cold.

I hate being hot too, though. So I will probably be whining about that soon.

• We have been sorting through all of our crap in anticipation of dumping about 30% of it into storage when we pass through Colorado in June. I CANNOT WAIT to unload some of this stuff.

(if anyone unfamiliar with our crazy lifestyle, a recap: We sold our house and all our stuff and have been willfully homeless for 6 months are now traveling the country with our kids. Super! Homeschooling! Is! Happening! We have all our essentials in a 4×8 cargo trailer that we pull behind our SUV. When we were packing the trailer, I forgot you could buy crayons and shampoo in other parts of the country.)

• I have lost a bra in every house we have stayed in. And two in this house. It’s bothering me. Firstly because I can’t afford it, and secondly because I keep imagining the look on the face of the poor unfortunate soul who finds one of them. I’m not a Victoria’s Secret shopper, y’all. I’m more of the Industrial Strength With Heavy-Duty Elastic Brassiere that Comes in a Box shopper.

It’s not a titillating experience to find one, is what I’m saying.

Plus also it’s the comfortable ones that seem to go missing, which is a whole ‘nother problem.

• The other night, Big was carrying on about how bad his nasty foot-wart was hurting. He eventually goes, “mom, I just don’t think you understand the pain!” Finally, I rolled my eyes and said, “Listen up, little boy – I pushed you out of my hoo-ha, I think I know what pain is.”

And then I scarred everyone within a 2-child radius.

So there you go. Now you can all feel better about your parenting.

(I didn’t say hoo-ha. I don’t remember what I said. Some insipid, juvenile euphemism, probably; that manages to be more offensive than the real word)

• Also last night, in a fit of being fed-up with Big’s attitude of never wanting to dismantle any of his Lego creations, and stealing his sister’s legos when he needed something; I went in his Lego bucket after he was in bed and took apart a bunch of stuff that just looked like Lego lumps.

Perhaps you can see where this is going.

My son, who cannot find a pair of underpants in a drawer that houses ONLY underpants, apparently possesses some kind of freakish photographic memory catalog of all his Legos.

Hysteria ensued at 9 am this morning.

I guess I took apart his helicopter carrier truck and trailer; which I was eventually able to identify as the blue and orange lump of Legos.

Happily, I compulsively keep all the directions to the Lego sets and was able to spend THREE HOURS on the floor being his assistant as he recreated it.

“MOM. Not a jumper plate, a side brick!”

“MOM. That’s not a clip, that’s a brick with a vertical bar!”

“MOM. I need light gray, not dark gray.”

Whatever, little dude. Just show me the picture. And quit sassing me.

My ass hurts now. I am too old to be sitting on the floor all morning.

There. Now don’t you feel better?

• Happy Monday, y’all.

7 Responses to “Random Monday”

  1. MNKristy Says:

    “a titillating experience” indeed!
    It sounds very entertaining at your place. I wish I was there right now.
    MNKristy´s last blog post ..Random Monday

  2. Happy Elf Mom Says:

    Have you ever heard of “tittivating” the garden? Apparently, real word. Maybe your bra was busy in the garden. 🙂

  3. Kirsten is Comfortably Domestic Says:

    Yeah…I have a boy like Big. He can find the underwear in a draw full of underwear, but he can’t ever decide which ones to actually put on. But if I take apart two seemingly orphaned Lego bricks and throw them back in the bin, then all chaos breaks lose. Seems I have a knack for dismantling only “very rare” and “special” Lego bricks. I feel your pain, Sister! 🙂
    Kirsten is Comfortably Domestic´s last blog post ..Failure Happens. Chocolate Helps.

  4. Delinda Says:

    My Lego-lover freaks out on his brothers for “moving people and things around in MY CITY!!” He has built a Lego town, hogging every person and brick in sight, and wrestling matches have ensued over one clone trooper’s head being placed on a different person. Dudes. Really?
    Delinda´s last blog post ..Can you tell me how to get, how to get to……

  5. Karen Says:

    I don’t visit often enough. I need to visit daily because you seriously crack.me.up

    I would love to live your lifestyle…wouldn’t I?? Although since it is just Keilee and I we may kill each other. Hope everything goes smoothly and you are soon complaining about the heat. 🙂
    Karen´s last blog post ..Close My Eyes and…. LEAP!

  6. Stephanie Says:

    How awesome is your life?!?!? I love the idea of traveling like that. For the wart, do some research on essential oils. They can be amazingly effective. One of my favorites is oregano. Happy traveling!

  7. tracey Says:

    You took apart LEGOS?!?! Do you have a death wish?
    tracey´s last blog post ..Would you like some Fries with that?