Things I am Tired of Saying All Damn Day Long

In CategoryNavel Gazing
ByDeb

• Go back and wash your hands better than that.

• Lower your voice.

• Quit making that noise.

• BUTTON YOUR PANTS! YOU ARE SEVEN YEARS OLD!

• That one. THAT noise. QUIT MAKING IT.

• Lower your voice!

• People! Quit yammering and just EAT!

• OH MY GOSH PEOPLE! QUIT YELLING BEFORE I GO INSANE!

• People! Quit hopping around! Just sit on your butt and eat!

• Flush please.

• Did you flush?

• Go flush.

• People! Lunch does not need to take 45 minutes! JUST EAT!

• QUIT MAKING THAT NOISE.

• What, are you kidding me right now? You were only in there five seconds. Go wash your hands again.

** I call my kids People! and Dudes! when I address them collectively. When Jim and I are talking about them, we call them The People. Like, “how are The People today?”

It occurs to me that we might be weird.

What do you call your kids?

If you call them “my lovely darling children” or “mummy’s preciousnessesssss” I will vomit.

 

13 Responses to “Things I am Tired of Saying All Damn Day Long”

  1. Eddie Says:

    I call them whichever name appears in my head first, regardless of whether it’s the correct name for that particular person. I then run through 6 other names including the dogs’ until I hit on the correct one.
    Eddie´s last blog post ..Ponds, and frogs, and spawn, oh my!

  2. MNKristy Says:

    You don’t want to know what I’ve been calling them lately. I’m on every last nerve. I’m about to break.
    MNKristy´s last blog post ..It’s all your fault, Bryanna

  3. Michelle Says:

    I call them the wrong name most of the time. And I only have two kids, so no excuse there. Usually when I’m flustered, because they’re driving me insane. Which is all the time, lately.

    Oh. My. Gosh. Why will my eight year old not flush the dang toilet??? So good to know I’m not the only one saying these things all day!
    Michelle´s last blog post ..Poll Question: Names and Dates on Papers

  4. Nan | wrathofmom.blogspot.ca Says:

    “Leave your penis ALONE!”

    Why is this one not on your list? I can’t be the only mother who yells this 20 times a day?! Now I’m depressed.
    Nan | wrathofmom.blogspot.ca´s last blog post ..My Thoughts on Porn, Parenting, and Patriarchy.

  5. Deb Says:

    OMG! I just died!

    That is hilarious. Happily, I seem to have avoided that. Although, my daughter likes to feel me up (and anyone who gets too close), so I say things like “breasts are private, remember?” more than I’d like to.

  6. SaraB Says:

    I usually refer to them by their names (I know! I’m so BORING!), but when I talk to my husband about them, it’s typically “Your Children” or “Those Kids of Yours” followed by some bizarre or frustrating thing they did that day.

  7. Melanie Says:

    Goobers. Or Goobs. Or Evil Demon Spawn. Whatever.

    Poor Anemone is receiving the brunt of my parenting lately:

    “Wash your face.”
    “Brush your teeth.”
    “Quit bothering JM.”
    “Wash your face.”
    “Brush your teeth.
    “Quit bothering JM.”
    “Wash your face.”
    “Quit bothering JM.”
    Melanie´s last blog post ..Another Couple of Months in Review

  8. Jessica Says:

    I call mine the baby, which is going to have to change when another baby arrives in June. I also call him Dude.
    Jessica´s last blog post ..Baby Update

  9. Karen Says:

    Well having only one, I rarely call her the wrong name. Sometimes the dog’s name though.

    I laughed at all of this. Welcome to my world. Mine is 12, unfortunately it hasn’t gotten any better.
    Karen´s last blog post ..Creating, Courthouse and Academia…

  10. Tressa Says:

    I think I usually say “guys” because I address the collectively.

    “Guys, you call this a clean kitchen?”
    “Guys, did you pick up your stuff?”
    “Guys, stop singing that song!”
    “Guys, you are making me crazy!”

    There are others, but I have forgotten them.
    Tressa´s last blog post ..Arrival-Day 5 and following

  11. Anne Says:

    Hey at least you gave birth to those people. I gotta say all that to strangers on the bus! lol!

  12. Kirsten is Comfortably Domestic Says:

    I call my boys Dude or Dudes, depending on how many I am addressing at the given moment. And I’m totally convinced that no one will ever flush the toilets in this house consistently, or notify me in a timely manner when one of them requires Expert Plumbing Services.
    Kirsten is Comfortably Domestic´s last blog post ..Bringing on Summer with Coconut Bundt Cake with Key Lime Glaze

  13. Julie Says:

    my kids names are Sam and Anna. I usually call out smanna because I’m so frustrated. When hubby and I are talking about them – they are “the babies”.