In CategoryNavel Gazing

One time, about two days after I got home from the hospital after having Little, literally having just been gutted like a fish and a 9 pound baby yanked out of me and having all my innerds being held in by staples and good luck, I was standing at the sink washing baby bottles.

And my husband came up to me while I was working, cradling his hand and pointing out a paper cut he had gotten at the hospital. I was all, “are you serious right now?” and he kept insisting, “you don’t understand! It REALLY hurts!”

And then I pulled down the front of my sweatpants and flashed the gigantic bandage that was keeping my guts from falling on the floor.

And then he goes, “oh.”

I swear. Men.

That’s not relevant to anything, except I think it’s a funny story and I like to remind him about it every now and then.

Plus also I have been thinking about babies since there were 3 heart-stopping days last week when I sat anxiously balled up on the couch with a calendar, thinking rude thoughts about the urologist and trying to figure out if we would be adding a third child to our brood; because of course that’s how an unplanned pregnancy would happen to us – after I am firmly in my forties and we have finally given away every last vestige of baby stuff. And are homeless.

But no, I guess it was just stupid peri-menopause messing with me. Thank goodness. I mean, I love babies and everything, and I did have a few flashes of what a sweet big sister Little would be….but I’m FORTY now. I heard enough sentences that began with “…well, the risks at your age…” when I was pregnant at 35. Jim was equally relieved when I came out of the bathroom on Thursday and flashed him a thumbs-up. He’s significantly older than me, you know (forty-THREE).

What? I said it was a non-story.


6 Responses to “Non-Story”

  1. Kristy Says:

    Congratulations, you are not pregnant!
    After years of infertility, when I was younger, I just knew that I would wind up getting pregnant in my 40s with that surprise baby. I looked forward to it. Until I hit 40. And my youngest was firmly independent. Then I decided that that no longer sounded like a good idea. So after 15 years of trying so hard to get pregnant, for the first time in 20 years, I tried hard *NOT* to. And it worked. I’m too old for babies. Unless they are grandchildren.
    Kristy´s last blog post ..January Date Night

  2. Happy Elf Mom Says:

    Congrats for nothing! Ha ha!
    Happy Elf Mom´s last blog post ..Michigan School Prosecutes Mom for Tardies

  3. SaraB Says:

    Congrats on staying a family of four 🙂 My husband always likes to remind me that Jon of Jon and Kate Plus 8(boooo hisssss to the both of them!) once said “The world is built for families of four.” Kate wanted just one more. HA!

  4. Eddie Says:

    Congratulations! I break out into a cold sweat when I’m even a day late these days. Love babies but at this point I much prefer to be able to hand them back afterwards; my body has taken enough birthing abuse. 🙂

    See, doesn’t perimenopause seem better all of a sudden?
    Eddie´s last blog post ..Snowflake art and some magnet fun

  5. Ingi Says:

    Oh yeah – 42, two caesareans – nah, you can keep your babies! Isn’t that typical of men though? I swear their brains function completely differently to ours…
    Ingi´s last blog post ..2012 – Homeschool High School!

  6. tracey Says:

    You should post this story at least 4 times a year. The bandage one. Not the pregnancy scare one. Because that’s just too scary if it’s not Halloween.
    tracey´s last blog post ..Don’t I WISH