Random Monday

In CategoryRandom Monday

• Last Thursday, Big brought over some Lego creation and told me it was a portcullis.

I was mystified.

I said, “what are you talking about? what is that? where did you hear that word?”

He’s all, “it’s a gate thing on a castle” and he showed me a picture of it in his Lego book. But I don’t see that WORD anywhere, and can’t figure out where it came from or if he’s using it right, or if it’s even a word at all. And he couldn’t remember where he heard it, either.

So I googled it.

portcullis – gate consisting of an iron or wooden grating that hangs in the entry to a castle or fortified town; can be lowered to prevent passage.

Uh-Huh. Okay.

I guess that’s it then. My services are no longer needed.

Bring on the bon-bons and Real Housewives!

• I love Pinterest so much that I had Sheila from Blog Designs by Sheila make me a new button. See? Up there on the left? By the Twitter button? Isn’t it cute? If anyone wants any matchy bloggy buttons, send Sheila an email. She always gets back to me in, like, 30 minutes with perfection. And if any of you are on Teh Pinterest, feel free to follow the navel-gazing pinboards of a compulsive pinner!

• We spent the weekend cleaning the house we’ve been in and packing up our stuff. We are heading to Washington state this week! Also, deep cleaning a house that I’ve only half-heartedly swiped at for the last 10 weeks has brought me to a new realization: we are pigs. Gag.

• Happy Monday, y’all!



Wrap Up Week 3

In CategoryHome Schooling

• A couple of weeks ago, Big became quite interested in the sea birds around here. So I did what any lazy good homeschool mom would do – had Amazon send me some books, then chucked them at him and said figure it out lovingly sat and discussed birds until I wanted to run far, far away. But that wasn’t enough, because apparently there are about a ZILLION kinds of seagulls and they are all different in only the most minuscule of ways and looking at pictures was not sufficient. Which meant walking down the street to where the birds hang out and stalking the poor creatures until we could figure out if we have California gulls or Herring gulls.**

If going OUTSIDE and BIRD WATCHING and actively engaging in a spirited discussion about the teensy marks on a SEAGULL’S BEAK is not a sign of true love, I don’t know what is.

I am awarding myself ten-thousand homeschool mom points for this bird business.

I should get a plaque or something.

**eventually narrowed it down to either Western gulls or Glaucous Winged gulls, but couldn’t make a final determination, especially once Birds of Oregon revealed that the two groups often winter and “hybridize together,” at which point I lost the will to live we were satisfied.

• We went to the beach on Monday afternoon (is it awful when I say that? I feel like I’m tossing off something really obnoxious, like “I went for a drive in my Bentley to buy a Birkin Bag and some new Manolos like I do every week” because the beach is JUST SO FREAKING AWESOME and I wonder if talking about getting to go there as often as I used to go to WalMart is mean and heartless to all you guys who can’t go too.)


We went to the beach on Monday and walked down a little further than usual and we SAW SEALS.




Not 20 feet from us!

I squealed like I was 7 years old, it was so exciting.

• I realized in the middle of the night that we need to work on Big’s math facts. He needs to get them down more solidly than regular book work is doing for us. I think flashcards, although boring, are the answer. However, there is no dollar store here, and I didn’t bring any (yes, there are PILES of flashcards at home in storage, fat lot of good they are doing me), and I didn’t want to spend four hundred dollars on ink printing them. Finally, it occured to me to check for an app, and what do you know? The kids LOVE them.

I think it’s the phone. It’s novel. Having them play on it makes me twitchy.

Me: are you okay, baby? it’s not too hard is it?

Kids: it’s FINE mom. jeez.

Me: I was talking to my phone.

Here are the apps I like best – Math Flashcards, Math Bingo, and Montessori Crosswords.

• Read aloud Hello, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle. Listened to chapter 1 of Ordinary Jack by Helen Cresswell on Audible.com.

• Little flew through All About Spelling Lesson 2; Big sulked through spelling and his uncooperative attitude keeps him on Lesson 1 of AAS Level 2.

• Big sulked his way through Math-U-See chapter 20, but did well on the test. He gets to sulk his way to chapter 21. Little finished Singapore Early Bird Kindergarten Math Book A (could that HAVE a longer title?) and began Book B.

Every. Single. Night.

In CategoryNavel Gazing

Every night before bed, I have this conversation with my daughter:

“Go pee.”


“Try anyway.”


“Just try for a minute.”


“Just sit there for a minute and make sure”



Five minutes later ~

“Mom? I need to go pee.”


In CategoryNavel Gazing

One time, about two days after I got home from the hospital after having Little, literally having just been gutted like a fish and a 9 pound baby yanked out of me and having all my innerds being held in by staples and good luck, I was standing at the sink washing baby bottles.

And my husband came up to me while I was working, cradling his hand and pointing out a paper cut he had gotten at the hospital. I was all, “are you serious right now?” and he kept insisting, “you don’t understand! It REALLY hurts!”

And then I pulled down the front of my sweatpants and flashed the gigantic bandage that was keeping my guts from falling on the floor.

And then he goes, “oh.”

I swear. Men.

That’s not relevant to anything, except I think it’s a funny story and I like to remind him about it every now and then.

Plus also I have been thinking about babies since there were 3 heart-stopping days last week when I sat anxiously balled up on the couch with a calendar, thinking rude thoughts about the urologist and trying to figure out if we would be adding a third child to our brood; because of course that’s how an unplanned pregnancy would happen to us – after I am firmly in my forties and we have finally given away every last vestige of baby stuff. And are homeless.

But no, I guess it was just stupid peri-menopause messing with me. Thank goodness. I mean, I love babies and everything, and I did have a few flashes of what a sweet big sister Little would be….but I’m FORTY now. I heard enough sentences that began with “…well, the risks at your age…” when I was pregnant at 35. Jim was equally relieved when I came out of the bathroom on Thursday and flashed him a thumbs-up. He’s significantly older than me, you know (forty-THREE).

What? I said it was a non-story.