Random Monday

In CategoryAdventure, Random Monday

• I am writing this on Friday night, and we are getting ready for the drive to Oregon. We went to Target to pick up the requisite snacks for the drive, and I saw this –

SQUEEZABLE FRUIT. What is that? Just mashed up fruit? In a bag? Is chewing too much work now? I see the bag has some kind of spout to suck your fruit from. I suppose that would come in handy if you were an astronaut. Or if gravity disappeared suddenly. It’s organic. That’s…something.


• Here’s what bugs me when I go into a Walmart or a Target – the entrance doors are on the left and the exit doors are on the right. Every time I try to go into a store, I have to negotiate a stream of people with full buggys exiting the store.

We walk on the RIGHT in this country. The RIGHT. I want to  enter a store on the RIGHT.

• As we were checking out, I saw that the checker was bagging cleaning supplies with  food. I don’t know if they don’t teach checkers this stuff anymore or what. It seems like common sense to me, but when I started rearranging stuff, she gave me A Look. I said apologetically, “I don’t want chemicals in with food”  and she goes “oh” with a blank look on her face. And then she asks, “what about a magazine, can that go in there?”

And I was all like MAGAZINES are FINE, just don’t put the ATHLETES FOOT CREAM in with the CHEERIOS, YOU NINNY. But not out loud. Because I have self-control like that.

XTREME Protection!

In CategoryAdventure

We are driving from Colorado to Oregon.

I wonder how often I will be relying on these:

I don’t want to be overly dramatic here, but I may have stumbled upon The Key to Driving with Small Children.


In CategoryAdventure

Okay, this is the Boulder VRBO we have stayed in for the past two weeks –

Living Room, with legos and dollhouse stuff strewn about. Jim has an almost visceral hatred of wicker furniture for some reason, so every day I tell him how much I like it.

I don’t, in fact, like it even a little; but it’s more fun if he thinks I do.

The kids’ room, with two twin beds covered in ancient floral –

Our room, with a queen bed. QUEEN! We have slept on a king bed for 15 years. The next place has a queen also, and frankly I don’t know if our relationship can survive this downgrade. It’s so…..crowded.

And finally, the teacup-sized kitchen. Last night Jim was pulling some break-and-bake cookies out of the oven and could not find the hotpad.

This kitchen has THREE drawers. And he couldn’t find the hotpad.

I mocked him.


I mean, it’s practically my DUTY in these kinds of situations. He got mad at me for making fun of him, which surprised me a little because it’s not his first day here.

Since we are only in Boulder for two weeks, this place is perfectly serviceable, if not ideal. I have learned a few things already about how Adventuring this way might go.

Firstly, the kitchen was filthy. FILTHY. Like, chunks of food from who-knows-when on the dishes filthy. After I recovered from the shock, I took myself down to Target, bought some cleaning supplies, and washed every single dish in the place.

I was really grossed out and horrified, as anyone who knows me in real life can probably imagine. But New and Improved Relaxed Deb realized that this might just be how kitchens in rentals are, and that a thorough cleaning might be part of the first-day festivities no matter where we stay.

Secondly, my life-long hatred of dust ruffles has been validated all over again. I cannot make the beds and re-tuck in the sheets (because of course, my husband kicks like a rabbit all night and rips the bed apart) without tucking in the stupid dust ruffle too.

Then I pull out the dust ruffle.

Which in turn untucks the sheets.

Which I then re-tuck in.

Which starts the whole thing all over again. But with cursing.

Dust Ruffles: Stupid. Maybe even Evil.

Driving to Oregon tomorrow!

Oh, You Want Pictures?

In CategoryAdventure

Big Hairy Tarantula

Big Disgusting Roach

Cute Little Frog Beetles (doing something I escaped explaining to the kids. thank goodness)

The only one of about a zillion pictures that managed to capture the Amazing Proboscis.

The Butterfly Pavilion is a terrific place to visit, especially for elementary-aged kids. We were able to see lots of great bugs in around 2 hours. We even saw some butterflies emerge from their cocoons! Sucker Mom bought ridiculously expensive t-shirts in the gift shop and we ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the car on the way to the American Girl store.