• I am writing this on Friday night, and we are getting ready for the drive to Oregon. We went to Target to pick up the requisite snacks for the drive, and I saw this –
SQUEEZABLE FRUIT. What is that? Just mashed up fruit? In a bag? Is chewing too much work now? I see the bag has some kind of spout to suck your fruit from. I suppose that would come in handy if you were an astronaut. Or if gravity disappeared suddenly. It’s organic. That’s…something.
• Here’s what bugs me when I go into a Walmart or a Target – the entrance doors are on the left and the exit doors are on the right. Every time I try to go into a store, I have to negotiate a stream of people with full buggys exiting the store.
We walk on the RIGHT in this country. The RIGHT. I want to enter a store on the RIGHT.
• As we were checking out, I saw that the checker was bagging cleaning supplies with food. I don’t know if they don’t teach checkers this stuff anymore or what. It seems like common sense to me, but when I started rearranging stuff, she gave me A Look. I said apologetically, “I don’t want chemicals in with food” and she goes “oh” with a blank look on her face. And then she asks, “what about a magazine, can that go in there?”
And I was all like MAGAZINES are FINE, just don’t put the ATHLETES FOOT CREAM in with the CHEERIOS, YOU NINNY. But not out loud. Because I have self-control like that.