We did it

In CategoryAdventure

We sold the house!

Or gave it away, as the case may be. Remember back when you bought a house and you thought your money would be safe there because real estate always increases in value?

I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works anymore.

But! We are excited to get this show on the road. Unfortunately, we have already been slightly derailed from our original plan by the fact that Yellowstone is apparently closed from October until the middle of December. Thanksgiving with Old Faithful is not gonna happen.

Now you can all brace yourselves for weeks of narcissistic navel-gazing while I sort through my sweatpants and fret about which shoes to pack.

Actually, you know what? Get ready for whining on a variety of topics. I can’t see limiting myself.

First of all, Jim FORGOT he had to go to TEXAS last week and didn’t remember until FRIDAY.

Who does that? Is this what it’s going to be like married to a 43 year old now? I mean, come ON.

I, naturally, took the announcement in stride – if by “in stride” I mean I made bitchy comments the rest of the weekend.

And I do.

On MONDAY MORNING, literally FIFTEEN MINUTES before we were headed to the airport, the realtor called and said that someone who had seen the house online from CANADA, of all places, had made an offer on the house contingent upon seeing it in real life THAT AFTERNOON.

Because of course we can’t be normal about anything.

Who buys a house they’ve never even seen? I was not optimistic.

We raced to the airport and dropped Jim off, then tore home amid sobs of “I miss my DADDDDDDDYYYYY” and I cleaned like a mad person for the next 4 hours. I even cleaned out that drawer under the oven.

It was disgusting.

I thought about taking a picture, but figured that my filthy oven on the heels of revealing my lower-leg ISSUES would be too much.

While the buyers were looking around, I took the kids out to a fancy dinner of fast-food pasta, where I dumped not one, but TWO plastic cups of water on myself.

Two cups of water! All over my shirt! In front of everyone!

(side eye to you Fazolli’s, with your cheap-ass complimentary cups that disintegrate all over innocent people)

I’ll bet you all wish you could go to a fine-dining establishment with me.

By 9:30pm I was on the phone with the realtor working out the sale while Jim texted me the details of his “Important Work Dinner at Fancy Dallas Steakhouse.”

So. Annoying.

We made it through the inspection, corrected all the eye-rollingly stupid things they wanted us to fix, and spent the weekend cleaning out the garage and starting to pack.

I laid awake all night having mini-panic attacks, making mental To Do lists, and wondering whose dumbass idea this was.

This is it. We’re really doing it.

Commence Freak Out.


12 Responses to “We did it”

  1. Kristy Says:

    Your story-telling skills are amazing. You should be a write. Oh wait…you do!! You just crack me up. I am so glad that your adventure is underway. Do you need a personal accountant and family to accompany you on your trip? He will work cheap. And by cheap, I mean that he will only require half of his high-priced salary. Let me know.
    Kristy´s last blog post ..October Nothingness

  2. tracey Says:

    Yay for selling for no profit!! How awesome. I say that you come to Illinois first. We are totally cool (freezing) in the winter.

    My husband tends to write me all the details of his fancy dinners while I am eating a cold hot dog without any bun. I just adore that guy.
    tracey´s last blog post ..Surprise, surprise

  3. Tressa Says:

    Yay! I am so glad that you sold the house! What a relief. And I am excited to read about your adventure.

    We sold our last house site unseen. I couldn’t believe it. Who does that? It seems like a few people do. I never would.

    As for your travels. You really want to come to Seattle in the summer or immediately. After Nov. it is gloomy until next summer. I think you already know that though. 🙂
    Tressa´s last blog post ..Week in Review #5

  4. Rose Says:

    congradulations!!!! This is great news and I”m so excited for you.
    Rose´s last blog post ..A Beautiful Day for a Hike

  5. Fairly Odd Mother Says:

    woo hoo! Congrats!!! Can’t wait to read about your adventures!
    Fairly Odd Mother´s last blog post ..Why I’ll be wearing black every day from now on. . .

  6. Connie Weiss Says:

    OH MY GOSH!!!

    I’m so excited for you!!

    So….I had this great idea about your readers voting to see where you go. What do you think of that?
    Connie Weiss´s last blog post ..BING thinks I’m Crazy

  7. Helena Says:

    Dude! You sold your house! (Sorry for calling you Dude! It just seemed totally necessary at the time!). I’ll stop with the exclamation marks now!

    That is truly exciting—I can’t wait for the Adventure to begin. Such a bummer you can’t drive to Australia first thing. I think that would be such an excellent start to your Epic Journey.

    I wonder where you will go? I wonder what you’ll see? I wonder what you’ll write about? Actually the last part isn’t true. I think I know what you’ll write about (like Life and the bits in between), and it’s already making me smile.

    Helena´s last blog post ..building happiness

  8. Applie Says:

    Congrats!! I am looking forward to hearing all about your adventure. So fun.
    Applie´s last blog post ..LOOK!

  9. Michelle Says:

    Woo-hoo!!!!!! So excited for you guys!

    The freak-outs will all be worth it.

    I though about telling you to relax and let it all go, but I couldn’t even type that without laughing at myself. I would be totally freaking.

    Michelle´s last blog post ..Form Drawing

  10. Melanie Says:

    That’s wonderful and exciting and cramp-inducing all at the same time! Congratulations!
    Melanie´s last blog post ..Thank you, Mr. Gates!

  11. Kirsten is Comfortably Domestic Says:

    Holy crap! You sold your house practically sight-unseen? That is so cool. And now the real adventure begins…
    Kirsten is Comfortably Domestic´s last blog post ..Oh, Yeah. Chicken Pot Pie.

  12. Nan | wrathofmom Says:

    Strangely enough, I know several of my fellow Canadians who’ve bought houses based almost entirely on MLS/realtor photos. I think it’s crazy, too.

    I was feeling kind of bad that until an hour ago I’d totally zoned out that the kids and I are getting flu shots tomorrow. But compared to forgetting a trip to Texas, it seems like nothing. Thanks for the prospective. And CONGRATS!
    Nan | wrathofmom´s last blog post ..Come To The Grey Side.