Juror Number 10

In CategoryNavel Gazing
ByDeb

Well, I’m pretty sure I’m officially a juror. I CANNOT believe how long selecting this jury is taking! The room was FULL of potential jurors when we started – about 60 people. There are about 6 people left to choose from. And each lawyer still has 2 peremptory challenges left.

It was really interesting in the morning, but the more my ass started to hurt, the less interesting it became.

Plus, the judge kept giving us the same instructions. I was all, “DUDE, I GOT THIS. Do you even know how many episodes of Law & Order I’ve seen?”

They asked us each a bunch of questions – name, age, occupation, education, did we have friends or family in law enforcement, etc. They asked a bit about our hobbies and what we read or watched on television. No one copped to watching television AT ALL, and most of them sneered at the very idea. I caught on to the anti-teevee vibe by the time it was my turn and resisted the urge to engage the judge in a spirited debate about the Real Housewives of Orange County.

One potential juror got herself excused by claiming she would not do a good job because she had a hard time paying attention. She elaborated with, “You know how youse guys was asking us guys if we ever knew any of the witnesses? I totally wasn’t listening when you were talking, holmes.” He spoke to her in his chambers. When he came back, he said, “Well, I made one juror cry so far” and told us he had dismissed her on account of she was a self-admitted dingbat.

Okay, he didn’t SAY dingbat, but I feel sure it was implied.

I don’t know why the guy doesn’t take a plea or something so I can come home and rest my ass. The defense asked some annoying questions during vior dire, like “how would you feel if the prosecution presents her case and I just sit there and don’t present a case?” and one juror goes, “I’d feel like the defendant should get a better lawyer.”

Oooh! And plus! PLUS I saw not one, but TWO men with rat tails in court today! I didn’t even know people were allowed to walk around like that anymore. I’m talking full-on, patch of hair braided down past the shoulder blades, rat tails. Rat tails they’d clearly been growing since 1985. Commited rat tails.

Anyway. Hopefully we get some action tomorrow. Fisticuffs would be nice.

7 Responses to “Juror Number 10”

  1. Ashley Rosen Says:

    This is SO weird … I never think about jury duty, but last week I was wondering how I got to be 50 and have NEVER ONCE been called for jury duty (maybe someone wrote “dingbat” next to my name on the voter registration forms) … then I had a really vivid dream about jury duty on Sunday, on Monday my 21-year-old got a summons for jury duty and now YOU’RE on jd with all the rat tails!! Karma. Keep us posted and let us live vicariously. Hope it’s a juicy case!

  2. Connie Weiss Says:

    So you didn’t admit to watching TV? Do you think they googled your name?
    Connie Weiss´s last blog post ..Want To Know Wednesday- Friends

  3. Connie WeissSTEIN Says:

    Because….They might find out about the bad reality TV habit that you have.
    Connie WeissSTEIN´s last blog post ..Want To Know Wednesday- Friends

  4. Tina H. Says:

    Wow, well, I hope the defendant cops a plea or the whole thing goes quickly. I was able to get out of jury duty a couple of years ago using the (legitimate) reason that I have no childcare for my kids. However, they simply put me on the “must serve” list for 2013 because my kids will be almost teens by then. Sigh.
    Tina H.´s last blog post ..Easter- Not Just Chocolate and Eggs

  5. Caitlin Says:

    Just a word of caution as someone who works in the judicial system. If you do get picked for the jury, be sure not to blog about it during the trial. It could lead to a mistrial or problems after the trial is over if the defendant is convicted and comes across your comments. Even your comment about the guy taking a plea could be construed as showing you were already predisposed to finding him guilty. I hate to be a Debby Downer, but such is the nature of our judiciary.

  6. Helena Says:

    Ooh, that last comment was interesting! Now I’m thinking we won’t get to hear about your Jury Time, and I was getting excited. I s’pose you could just write Day One: my butt hurts. Day Two: my butt still hurts. Day Three: Guess what, my butt hurts. Don’t know what that’ll do for your readership, but still—the truth would be out!

    I can’t wait to hear the next episode in this fine saga! Who needs Reality TV? (I know you’re saying now, “Wash your mouth out, woman!”)
    Helena´s last blog post ..finding spirit

  7. Charlotte Says:

    “*Committed* rat tails.”

    I totally snorted!