Juror Number 10

In CategoryNavel Gazing

Well, I’m pretty sure I’m officially a juror. I CANNOT believe how long selecting this jury is taking! The room was FULL of potential jurors when we started – about 60 people. There are about 6 people left to choose from. And each lawyer still has 2 peremptory challenges left.

It was really interesting in the morning, but the more my ass started to hurt, the less interesting it became.

Plus, the judge kept giving us the same instructions. I was all, “DUDE, I GOT THIS. Do you even know how many episodes of Law & Order I’ve seen?”

They asked us each a bunch of questions – name, age, occupation, education, did we have friends or family in law enforcement, etc. They asked a bit about our hobbies and what we read or watched on television. No one copped to watching television AT ALL, and most of them sneered at the very idea. I caught on to the anti-teevee vibe by the time it was my turn and resisted the urge to engage the judge in a spirited debate about the Real Housewives of Orange County.

One potential juror got herself excused by claiming she would not do a good job because she had a hard time paying attention. She elaborated with, “You know how youse guys was asking us guys if we ever knew any of the witnesses? I totally wasn’t listening when you were talking, holmes.” He spoke to her in his chambers. When he came back, he said, “Well, I made one juror cry so far” and told us he had dismissed her on account of she was a self-admitted dingbat.

Okay, he didn’t SAY dingbat, but I feel sure it was implied.

I don’t know why the guy doesn’t take a plea or something so I can come home and rest my ass. The defense asked some annoying questions during vior dire, like “how would you feel if the prosecution presents her case and I just sit there and don’t present a case?” and one juror goes, “I’d feel like the defendant should get a better lawyer.”

Oooh! And plus! PLUS I saw not one, but TWO men with rat tails in court today! I didn’t even know people were allowed to walk around like that anymore. I’m talking full-on, patch of hair braided down past the shoulder blades, rat tails. Rat tails they’d clearly been growing since 1985. Commited rat tails.

Anyway. Hopefully we get some action tomorrow. Fisticuffs would be nice.