Random Monday

In CategoryNavel Gazing, Random Monday

• Last week I had to mediate a fight over the babydolls in the playroom. We have two IDENTICAL babydolls in the playroom. One of them is called Jayme and one of them is called Yaher. (Or maybe it has the exotic spelling of Jaher? She’s never said. I don’t even know where she’s from.)

I have no idea where these names came from. NO IDEA. But in that unspoken way of children, those have been the names of the dolls since we brought them home 2 years ago. Somehow, the kids can tell them apart; and there is never any confusion when they are playing and jabbering away in their strange secret sibling shorthand. There is another one called ZeeZee, but she is shunned.

ANYway, Big had Yaher, but Little took him away. Much arguing ensued, and eventually I got tired of hollering at them to Work It Out, Already! and went in there. I told Little that Big had the baby first, and that she should play with the other doll, which once again, IS IDENTICAL.

She said, “But I don’t want to play with Jayme! He always pukes all over me!”

• Also last week, I was rassling with the kids and Big took a flying leap, landing on my back. Now that I am old, this hurt. We had to switch to playing Mama Needs Medical Attention, and Dr. Big solemnly diagnosed me with Bad Butt-itis. This was remedied by a trip to the Butt Hospital.

I don’t know why I am telling you this. I thought it was hilarious, but perhaps it’s one of those locational jokes. Or maybe I’ve been spending too much time with a 6 year old boy’s sense of humor.

• I got an email from Twitter this morning telling me that someone called Roman Sandals is following me. Apparently they are a “Fashion Blog Focusing On Gladiator And Roman Style Sandals & Shoes. Follow Us For The Latest In Gladiator And Roman Sandals!”

Here’s the thing. First of all, are there really people out there who MUST KEEP UP with Gladiator sandal news? Is there really even such a thing as Gladiator sandal news? Also, why would the Gladiator sandal people be interested in me? I mostly think Gladiator sandals are UNBEARABLY HIDEOUS.

What do I know, though? My daily outfit consists of capri cargo pants, a men’s white t-shirt (3 to a pack!), and either the everyday Birkenstocks or the good Birkenstocks. Every so often, the good Birks become the everyday Birks and I rotate in a new pair. It’s very Exciting and Fashion Forward.

• For the final gasp of Randomness, I have some trivia for you: It is generally inadvisable to caulk around a toilet.