A Whole Lotta Crazy

In CategoryNavel Gazing

I’m sure by now everyone has heard about that school in Chicago that bans parents from packing lunches for their kids. Because OBVIOUSLY the same people that operate the DMV are better parents than the rest of us. Duh.

Over in Boston, the mayor has banned anything sugary from vending machines on city property – except at Red Sox Stadium. They are exempt (or should we say More Equal?) and will be allowed to sell soda. And beer. It makes perfect sense to stop the sales of chocolate milk (the tool of the devil), but you can’t go around banning beer from baseball. That’s just crazy talk.  I’m sure it doesn’t have anything to do with tax revenue, though. It’s a moral issue. Stop being so cynical.

While we here in the United States are busy stripping the rights of parents to give their kids a freaking SANDWICH, the government of Bolivia is granting rights. To bugs. That’s right – they are drafting a treaty for the U.N. that would give “Mother Earth” the same rights as people. They just passed a law domestically giving bugs and trees the same rights as humans and feel the the entire world should follow suit. I don’t know why we haven’t done this before, really. It makes so much sense.  I mean haven’t we all felt angst stomping the errant spider that finds his way into the house? Now we will finally have some guidance on the subject.

Barely Relevant Side Story:
My local knit shop is run by a lovely woman, K, whose husband is the Head of Psychiatry at a State Mental Hospital. One of the other knitters is an Occupational Therapist who works there. One night, I was showing my ignorance by asking them what an Occupational Therapist is. After they explained to me OTs help people with injuries re-learn how to do things like brush their teeth or whatever, I apparently made a comment that contained the phrase “so it doesn’t have anything to do with the crazy people.”

Cut to a week later, and the phone rings with another knitter on the line. I thought she had called to set up a play date with her daughter.

But no.

She called to tell me that she was offended when I used the term “crazy” at knit night a WEEK BEFORE. A conversation that neither included her, nor was about her, offended her. And she took time out of her day to call and tell me, “hey, by the way – you suck.”

I was all, “why were you offended, are you nuts or something?” But not with my outside voice. That would be mean. I apologized profusely and felt bad that something I said offhandedly upset someone for a WHOLE WEEK.

The more I thought about it, the more concerned I became that I had offended the knit shop owner. I like her, and it’s her husband who is the shrink, and probably I should apologize. So I go to the shop and I start my spiel and she goes, “oh, I heard all about this already.” Because of course the offended lady had to spread the news of my suckiness far and wide. Who wouldn’t?

It turned out K. was not offended, but I did get a tiny speech about how just because people have a mental illness, it doesn’t mean they are crazy. Which I knew, and hello – COLLOQUIALISM anyone?

The offended lady was at the following knit night and I was all awkward and spazzy. (Oh wait – can I say spazzy? SOMEONE NEEDS TO SEND ME A LIST)

As I was recounting all this drama later to my husband, it occured to me that when I used the word “crazy”, I said it in reference to the people at the State Hospital. 

The State MENTAL Hospital.

Where they keep the Criminally Insane.

As in: People Who Are Too Crazy For Regular Prison.

INSANE being the operative word here. Contextually, the word “crazy” was not incorrect.

And then I was able to let it go (clearly), secure in the knowledge that I was, in fact, right.

So hopefully no one is upset that I used the words “crazy” and “nuts” to describe how I feel about the government telling me I don’t know how to make lunch….but if you are, I’m sorry (not really) and IT’S A COLLOQUIALISM FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.