Random Tuesday

In CategoryNavel Gazing

• Thanks to everyone for their encouragement yesterday. We did indeed stop the stupid endless number writing. When I called my son in to start school, he visibly deflated at the sight of the math book. I told him that I had been thinking about it and all that number writing was unnecessary (I might’ve said stupid, but that does not seem like a Good Mommy word, so…), and we would be skipping the rest. I made sure I came out looking like a Hero, which I felt was only fair since last week I was the Bad Guy.

A special Thank You to Melanie for saying, “Please stop making that child write his numbers from 0-100.” which contained the exact right amount of validation and gentle prodding I needed to quit. Luckily, the advice hit me right between waves of peri-menopausal hormones, and I didn’t even burst into tears. ‘Course, I asked for advice, but as you know, that is neither here nor there.

• Someone tell me I am not the only hormonal female around these parts. I swear, us girls get the short end of the stick on all this crap.

• I was very glad to see a Girl Scout set up when I went in the grocery store yesterday. This must mean the crack cookies are in, and my little neighborhood pusher Girl Scout will soon be around with a fresh supply.

• When I came out of the grocery store, a person who was probably a drug addict hit me up for four dollars. Doesn’t four dollars seem awfully specific? What can you buy for four dollars? If I had four dollars I’d be driving to Starbucks, yo. She hit up half a dozen other people while I was unloading my cart. In the last few months someone asks me for money where ever I go. What is UP with that? It’s kind of scary. I can’t figure out why this is happening to me all of a sudden. Do my $6 WalMart t-shirts scream money? Do I look like a sucker? Or maybe I just look a middle-aged soft touch. This better not be some new and unpleasant side effect of rubbing up against 40, or I’m gonna be pissed off.

• Speaking of being old, the other night I was in the bathroom getting ready for bed, and I was almost blinded by the glare bouncing off the mirror from this huge streak of gray hair that’s appeared on the left side of my head. I called my husband into the bathroom and said, “DUDE! Why didn’t you tell me I had all this gray right here?” And he looked at it and said, “That’s nothing compared to what’s happening in the back.”

• My husband thinks he is funny.

• He is mistaken.