Answers To Your Burning Questions*

In CategoryHome Schooling, Navel Gazing
ByDeb

Ooh, I am so excited that I got some Ask A Home School Graduate questions yesterday!

Okay, here we go – Tressa asked:

Are my kids going to hate me because I didn’t give them the “high school experience”? You know, they probably won’t go to the prom. They won’t have football games or German club. Will they miss it?

My parents were more concerned with staying out of jail for homeschooling (remember, it was the Dark Ages) than with our social lives, so my sister and I didn’t get ANYWHERE near the amount of socializing that homeschooled kids get today. Plus we lived in the boonies – a weekly trip to the library was an adventure. We went to church and both of us worked from the age of 13.  Even so, I had plenty to do and didn’t really feel like I was missing out. I hung out with my old friends enough to be reminded how hard school could be, and was happy avoiding it. The prom sounded stupid and filled with teenaged angst – waiting to be asked, spending money on a dress, drinking spiked punch and losing your virginity to some handsy guy in the back of a limo….blech. Besides, it cost a fortune and I wasn’t about to spend my hard-earned money on a wear-it-once dress. 

After we moved to civilization when I was 17, I worked and bought a car. I made friends with the kids at work and at church. Our little town had one public high school and my sister and I would often meet up with friends and go cheer on the basketball team. I remember being busy and having fun.

Nowadays (nowadays! check me – I’m a thousand years old), homeschooled kids have so many things to do – homeschool co-ops offer tons of clubs, activities, and parties; there are all kinds of sports teams, dance troupes, and musical groups not affiliated with public school; and kids attend church and have jobs. I kind of think that a one night event like a prom is going to be just another insignificant blip on the Public School Is Different screen. And anyway, there are dances and clubs and football games in college, so not doing those things in high school doesn’t mean that the opportunity is lost forever.

In conclusion, I am going to vote No, Your Kids Will Not Hate You.

Besides! The awesomeness that is Tressa is strong enough to overcome anything!

Now then.

To everyone who asked what my relationship is like now with my mom and sister… it ranges from very poor (sister) to total estrangement (parents). This situation does not have anything to do with school – I probably wouldn’t be brave enough to homeschool my own kids if it did – because things did not start to seriously go south until I was in my thirties. I’m sorry, I know that you’d all rather hear that we are one big happy family and have weekly Sunday dinners and game nights – I wish that too. Trust me, I have all the same fears that everyone else has – and in some cases they are Very Big because of my family history. 

But I know strongly that I am doing what I am meant to do. When I became a mom, I finally found myself. So even though some days end with me in bed looking at the ceiling counting all the ways I am effing this whole thing up….I have a tiny corner of certainty that can’t be shaken.

If anyone has any Ask A Home School Graduate questions, sock ’em to me. This is fun! I’ll answer more next week.

* Ha! This title is cracking me up. Narcissism is funny.