TeeVee and Cake

In CategoryNavel Gazing

I have sunk to a new low. I watched an episode of Married to Rock. I need a q-tip for my brain now. Or Lysol.

I read in Us Magazine the other day that The Situation is getting a Jersey Shore spin-off (no, I don’t watch that. I do have some standards.) Apparently the new show “won’t be a family show anymore.”

ANYMORE?!?! I just……I can’t……are they kidding? 

When I turned thirty-nine earlier this summer, I told Big I wanted a gigantic, humongous, white cake with white frosting. He started teasing me relentlessly, drawing me pictures of the minuscule cake he was going to get me – a tiny circle with a single candle. I love it when my kids tease me – a developing sense of humor delights me like nothing else. He MADE his dad drive him to the store, where he picked out a tiny slice of chocolate cake with chocolate icing. It was hilarious.

ANYway, I began teasing him that I was going to make him a broccoli cake for his birthday. I have been wracking my brain ever since then, trying to figure out how to make a broccoli cake that will be funny, but not make him burst into tears. My first thought was that I’d simply buy a broccoli-shaped cake pan. They don’t make those. Seems like there would be a big demand, but whatever.

I thought about making a cake and sticking broccoli spears all over it instead of candles, but that might be risking the crying.

I thought about making that Martha Stewart garden cake, but then I had a little lie-down and it passed. 

I thought about making a bunch of broccoli-shaped cookies, decorating them and sticking those all over the cake. Cookies AND cake? Only freaking brilliant. Except that while they do have cookie cutters in practically every shape imaginable – scissors, yoga poses, bacon and eggs, –  the poor broccoli has been neglected once again.

So my darlings, I come to you now, for help. Anyone got any broccoli-cake ideas out there? Is there some other novelty cake pan that I could mutate into a broccoli with the clever use of green frosting?

Little is getting a Ladybug cake this year. I can do that.

I hope.