Not Inadequate

Even though I have resigned myself somewhat to this whole child-led learning idea, I haven’t quite beat back my need for Checking Stuff Off A List. I am still trying to find a middle ground that satisfies all parties. I flailed around and finally came up with a starting point that works for me. I wrote about How to Create Your Own Unit Study at Heart of the Matter last week.

And yesterday they graciously printed one of my favorite Christmas recipes – Quick and Easy Cake Mix Cookies. These are unbelievably easy, with only a few ingredients. They are a true staple of mine. One year I gave away something like 50 dozen of them.

As a matter of fact, I think I have all the stuff to make another batch…

Okay, fellow procrastinators! It is Week 6 of Holy Crap Only Four Weeks Left Before Christmas!

I know many of you accomplished great things at the Black Friday Sales last week, so link up and brag about it!

I actually had a very productive long weekend. We hung all new outdoor lights, replacing the original 30 year old sconces. The only way those ancient things would have cast any light is if they caught fire.

We replaced the shredded paper shade in the garage window with a not-really-wood blind. The blind we had been saving for that purpose ended up being too short and this led to a frenzied version of musical chairs with all our window coverings. We finally found one the right size in our bedroom, but it was so filthy with dust that I insisted we pull the bed out before we took it down. 

Pulling the bed out revealed the King of all Dust Bunnies. It wasn’t even a dust bunny, it was more like a dust…sand dune. 

After I recovered from the shock, I stripped everything off the bed, made Jim get the vacuum, and cleaned. I don’t think our room has been that clean since we moved in. This is how projects go around here. It’s like pulling at a loose thread on a sweater. In fact, at this very minute Jim is at the furniture store buying a bed frame because for the last 17 years our box spring and mattress have sat on the floor.

‘Cause we’re classy like that.

I also finished the Swirl Hat. I got a little overly-pleased with how well it was turning out and received a Knitting Smack Down by making a mistake I couldn’t figure out how to fix. Oh well, that’s how everyone will know it is hand made, right? Dang it.

I knit it with the incomparable Lorna’s Laces and I just love it so much. It’s like a big pink cupcake. Little will be adorable in it. I need one more boyish hat for Big and they will be even.

And look how cute the top came out – Super! Swirly!

So.

Thanksgiving.

This is going to be one of those years that will definitely be remembered.

Firstly, my kitchen faucet exploded on Monday morning and proceeded to make a fountain every time I turned it on. Jim chased all over town looking for the parts to fix it, but no one carries them because “those are supposed to last the lifetime of the faucet.”

Uh-huh.

I called the manufacturer -

(After heroically pulling that information from my obsessively organized cabinet in about two minutes. Did this garner applause? No. Once again, my fantastic filing skills go unnoticed by my family. Ingrates.)

- and they said they would send a whole new sprayer assembly thingamajig. I said great, could they overnight it since Thursday is a holiday and plus because I have kind of gotten used to that whole running-water business?

Guess not, since as of 3pm Friday, I am still waiting.

Secondly, we have a tradition of going to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science on Thanksgiving Day. It is a great day to go, because we practically have the place to ourselves. They serve a big turkey dinner and all the docents are in good moods and there aren’t any pesky school groups clogging up everything. This year, we decided to go on Wednesday. Why not? One day won’t make that big of a difference, right? Who goes out to the museum on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving? Everyone is busy grocery shopping and baking pies.

WRONG. In fact, there were LOTS of other people who go out to museums the day before Thanksgiving. LOTS AND LOTS. We had lunch in the cafe and hit the exhibit about the Amazon we wanted to see. It was interesting and we had a good time in spite of the crowd.

As we got in the car to go home, Big started complaining that his tummy was hurting. He has a sensitive stomach, and we chalked it up to eating a crappy lunch and just getting over a cold.

Big mistake.

He puked all over the damn place about 15 minutes into our trip. I careened across four lanes of Denver traffic looking for a place to exit while he gacked his guts up all over my car.

The car I just made the final payment on. That’s not really relevant here, I’m just sayin’.

Luckily, I had brought along the standard extra set of Just In Case Clothes. I found part of a roll of paper towels and some antibacterial wipes and got up the worst of it while Jim got Big in clean clothes. It was about 9 degrees out, and the poor guy was freezing to death when we finally got going again.

Let me just tell you right now that cranking up the heat in a car that’s covered in macaroni and cheese puke is slightly less than optimal.

But we sort of got used to it during the TWO HOUR drive home.

Thirdly - yes, there is a third thing – whilst trying to cook Thanksgiving dinner, the kitchen sink became clogged.

Clogged very badly indeed, because SOMEONE didn’t believe me that you can’t stuff potato peels down the disposal.

Especially when you can only run the water at a trickle because of the whole stupid exploding-faucet-water-fountain Situation of Holiday Awesomeness.

I am sure wives everywhere can imagine the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when I noticed my husband repeatedly flipping the disposal switch on and off and saying to himself, “Huh. What’s going on here?”

Just as I needed to drain the potatoes, he was crawling under the sink with a bucket and a wire coat hanger.

Seriously, people. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

After HOURS of peeling and unclogging and cooking and cursing, we finally got everything on the table.

Big pushed the dreaded mashed potatoes around his plate and wondered why we weren’t having tacos.

Which is now officially an option for Christmas dinner.

Here we are at Week 5 of Just Finish Something Already!

This week I finished…

Well, I managed to…..

Okay, the truth is I didn’t finish anything. I started a hat.

Twice.

I had about 3 inches knitted on Saturday night when Jim asked if it was going to be big enough.

So I measured.

And it wasn’t.

And then I was all mad at him for making my hat too small.

I sulked the rest of Saturday evening, then resignedly ripped the whole thing out about 4 hours ago and started over.

Imagine my surprise when I did not manage to reknit the entire thing in one evening.

Also, I decided I am definitely going to make ham for Thanksgiving.

Or maybe turkey.

For sure one of those.

How about you?

Do not forget to Just Finish Something Already so you can brag about it on Monday! 

Only a few weeks left of this blog hop - so come on, you slackers!

And now on to our regularly scheduled post.

What I made for dinner the other night -

Pasta with homemade Alfredo Sauce. Or as we call it – Mac-o-Chee.

Alfredo sauce is actually not that hard to make. It only has a few ingredients and it’s not THAT much more of an effort than the chemical-laden boxed stuff.

Alfredo Sauce

• Butter
• Flour
• Milk
• Parmesan Cheese, grated (not the stuff in the green can)

I find it helpful to get all the ingredients ready before I start making the sauce, because otherwise I am scrambling and the sauce is clumping and I am getting all agitated over a stupid sauce and then I feel like an idiot and then I am cranky.

In a medium saucepan, melt 2-ish tablespoons butter over medium heat. Then sprinkle an equal amount of flour over it and whisk it for a minute or two. Gradually pour 1 1/2 to 2 cups of milk into the pan, whisking continually like a madperson.

Whisk-whisk-whisk. This is the key. Do not think you can leave this unattended for a minute to yell “dinner will be ready in a minute! get off my back already!” listen to your little darlings conjugate their advanced Latin.

Or whatever the heck you do to Latin.

If you leave your husband in charge of the stirring, make sure he knows you don’t mean stand there motionless and watch the game.

If you do leave your sauce unattended and whisk-less, nothing will look amiss on the surface, but when you begin to stir again you will see that all the flour has sunk to the bottom and turned into a gloppy, lumpy mess.

And you will be very sad indeed.

After a few minutes, your milk will come to a bubble and start to thicken. Do not let it boil, and do not let it get too thick – you still have to add the cheese. When you see it begin to thicken, turn off the heat and whisk in the cheese. Some recipes call for as little as 1/3 cup of cheese, but I am not That Kind Of Girl and put in more like 2/3 cup or maybe even a whole cup, depending on how much milk I put in and how thick I want it.

I don’t measure anything when I make this – I probably grate 1/3 to 1/2 of one of those little triangles of parmesan you buy at the regular grocery store. One time I ran out of milk because SOMEONE had put the carton back in the fridge with only two ounces left and I had to use chicken broth for the rest of the liquid. It turned out fine.

Sometimes I don’t have enough parmesan and have been known to tear up a couple of pieces of Velveeta into the sauce. Just don’t use a stringy cheese like mozzarella or cheddar, or you will spend the next 30 minutes watching your kids make a gigantic mess all over your table and themselves and playing those annoying dinner table games.

Season with salt and pepper, as desired.

Feel like a hero because I JUST MADE ALFREDO SAUCE, FAMILY!

Wait for family to applaud.

Wait a very long time.

This post linked to Foodie Fridays and Food on Fridays.

• Couldn’t take the stupid cold anymore and went to the doctor. He told me strep was going around and sent his nurse in to give me the test. My throat, which didn’t hurt that much before, is now killing me. What is up with the vehemence behind the strep test? She stabbed me so hard I thought maybe she was trying to kill the germs one by one. I had to fill out all my paperwork AGAIN, and when I asked why, she told me it was because they were “moving to a paperless office to cut down on insurance fraud.” Moving to a paperless office! And I needed to fill out 3 pages for this move! Snarky Deb jumped out before I could stop her and said that perhaps not having 300 sheets of paper laying around with my social security number on them would be one way to cut down on fraud. 

• I am old now and have to wear socks to bed or else my feet are so cold I can’t sleep. It’s pissing me off a little.

• I went grocery shopping the other night. I couldn’t afford alcohol to dull the pain, so had to make do with stabbing myself in the ear with a shrimp fork. A dozen eggs was OVER SIX DOLLARS. I mean, they were organic and all, but STILL. I spent almost seventeen dollars on milk, passed on the $6 Cheerios, but had to shell out for apple juice to keep the kids’ plumbing moving (ifyouknowwhatImean). I spent $125, bought no meat and no cheese, and probably won’t make it to the weekend. Blech.

So! Crabby! Aren’t you happy you came over here today?

I think I have finally mastered Oven Roasted Brussels Sprouts. And not only that – but my people eat them!

Another Score!

I tried many different methods of cooking the brussels: blanching first, using a lot of oil, using not very much oil, getting impatient with roasting and moving them to a skillet (which was delicious by the way, but felt like I had crossed over from Healthy to Fried Food)…but tonight’s version was really good, and less work than some of the other things I have tried.

Firstly, I trimmed and peeled the brussels (am I the only one who sometimes finds little white worms under the leaves? It really grosses me out and makes me want to rethink this whole stupid Healthy Eating thing. That never happens with Oreos).

Then I lined a sheet tray with foil and greased it lightly with shortening (I know….maybe not the best choice. But I am going for Super! Crispy! here). I spread the brussels out in a single layer and put them near the bottom of a 475° oven. The sheet tray seems to act sort of like a skillet, and even though it doesn’t look like anything is happening, the side that is down on the tray is frying away. I stirred them a couple times, but mostly left them alone. I don’t remember how long they roasted…30-ish minutes? (So! Helpful!)

When they came out, I sprinkled them with salt and took the obligatory blog photos:

Aren’t they cute?

This post is linked to Tasty Tuesdays, Mouthwatering Monday, Tuesdays at the Table, What’s Cooking Wednesday, and Real Food Wednesdays. I’m a ho. What can I say?

Before I get to this week’s blog hop, I’d like to say how very, very honored I am to have an article posted at Heart of the Matter Online today. My take on Education Meets Real Life. Check it out.

Here we are at Week 4 of Good Gravy, I Hope This Blog Hop Motivates Me To Finish Something Already!

This week I managed to finish two hats!

Actually, if I were being completely honest, I would have to admit I finished them at 11pm on Sunday night. Let’s hear it for Procrastination!

This one will be for Little, who loves frilly pink things. It’s being modeled by an unfortunate, nameless, faceless fellow who normally resides on the fireplace mantle as a vase. Try to ignore the filthy kitchen table in the background, and also The Real Housewives playing on the television.

I knit it with Plymouth Confusion yarn, which was not in a skein like I thought, but a hank that needed to be wound on a ball winder. ALL sorts of cursing happening when I realized this, because I had already picked it to death looking for the end and turned it into a disgusting tangled mess. Even though I bought this yarn on a 50% off sale, it was still too expensive to chuck it in the trash and flounce off in a snit. I persevered, and think the finished hat is super adorable. Little is super adorable as well, so it should be a good match.

This one will be for Big. I don’t love it for some reason. It came out humongous, for one thing. For another, I can see all the mistakes (naturally), which is what happens when I “just wing it.” It’ll be okay, though. My son also happens to be beautiful and will distract people from my inability to count the correct amount of rows between color changes.

Other than that, I really didn’t accomplish anything. Between going to the funeral and being sick, I feel like I’m two weeks behind on my life. Jim made noises about helping me; but when I showed him my To Do list (which takes up two full pages of my notebook) he sort of chuckled uncomfortably and turned up the teevee.

Next week, though – next week I am going to Kick Some Ass!

Maybe.

We brought a stupid cold back from Kansas. I hope it’s the same one that is going around here, because I went to the store to stock up on medicine and comfort food and every person there was sick. When I was checking out, the cashier told me that she could tell when the weather was changing because she caught a cold every year.

And then she proceeded to prove it by coughing all over my stuff.

Here’s the thing.

I thought that we all, as members of a mostly civilized society, had sort of an unspoken gentleman’s agreement about how to act when we are sick.

Like for example, we don’t COUGH all over people’s STUFF.

And now, a haiku.

I hate snot so much

It is gross and annoying

More so when not mine

• I have sunk to a new low. I watched an episode of Married to Rock. I need a q-tip for my brain now. Or Lysol.

• I read in Us Magazine the other day that The Situation is getting a Jersey Shore spin-off (no, I don’t watch that. I do have some standards.) Apparently the new show “won’t be a family show anymore.”

ANYMORE?!?! I just……I can’t……are they kidding? 

•When I turned thirty-nine earlier this summer, I told Big I wanted a gigantic, humongous, white cake with white frosting. He started teasing me relentlessly, drawing me pictures of the minuscule cake he was going to get me - a tiny circle with a single candle. I love it when my kids tease me – a developing sense of humor delights me like nothing else. He MADE his dad drive him to the store, where he picked out a tiny slice of chocolate cake with chocolate icing. It was hilarious.

ANYway, I began teasing him that I was going to make him a broccoli cake for his birthday. I have been wracking my brain ever since then, trying to figure out how to make a broccoli cake that will be funny, but not make him burst into tears. My first thought was that I’d simply buy a broccoli-shaped cake pan. They don’t make those. Seems like there would be a big demand, but whatever.

I thought about making a cake and sticking broccoli spears all over it instead of candles, but that might be risking the crying.

I thought about making that Martha Stewart garden cake, but then I had a little lie-down and it passed. 

I thought about making a bunch of broccoli-shaped cookies, decorating them and sticking those all over the cake. Cookies AND cake? Only freaking brilliant. Except that while they do have cookie cutters in practically every shape imaginable - scissors, yoga poses, bacon and eggs, -  the poor broccoli has been neglected once again.

So my darlings, I come to you now, for help. Anyone got any broccoli-cake ideas out there? Is there some other novelty cake pan that I could mutate into a broccoli with the clever use of green frosting?

Little is getting a Ladybug cake this year. I can do that.

I hope.