Not Inadequate

So here we are at Week Two of the Just Finish Something Already! Blog Hop.

This hop has motivated me so much, that this week I finished exactly…nothing.

Ta Da!

The shawl is cruising along, so that counts for something. I have about 4 inches. More if I block it to death.

Which I will.

Um…..I went to Costco yesterday and spent THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY TWO DOLLARS. If cleaning out our bank account was my goal, then I rocked it!

I don’t know where Frugal Deb was. I think she was too busy eating all the free samples to notice what I put in the basket.

Wait, hold on – I just thought of something.

We put in some lighting in the family room. For the last three and a half years we have had an ugly empty hole in the ceiling, and now we have this:

And the kitchen, which had horrible lighting, now has this:

It’s not very glamorous, but I am counting it because a) it’s all I’ve got; and b) I’m pretty happy to have a light after almost 4 stinking years.

Seriously – four years. Who would wait that long?

Lazy Mole People, that’s who.

ps – those pictures would be a lot better if I hadn’t taken them in the middle of the night about 10 minutes before I published this post. But that’s how I roll, yo.

This is interesting…

Be Less Helpful. Very interesting. And hard to do.

On the other hand, I am lazy, so I can probably find a way.

Real learning is a process of discovery, and if we want it to happen, we must create conditions in which discoveries are made. We know what these are. They include time, leisure, freedom, and lack of pressure.  – John Holt

I have a lot of weird and irrational fears.

Well, I don’t think they are irrational, obviously; but I threw that in there to seem less crazy.

When my sister went away to college, I used to call her and give her random bits of advice. Don’t drink and sit in a hot tub. Don’t drink and swim. Don’t drink and go boating (do you know how many alcohol + water fatalities there are every year?) Don’t let your beverages out of your sight at a party.

How would she know what to be afraid of if I didn’t tell her? I was doing my sisterly duty.

Last year for Christmas she told me she wanted new drinking glasses to celebrate buying her first house. I immediately sent her an email outlining the advantages of acrylic over glass. What if I bought her glass and her dishwasher went on the fritz and she had to wash her dishes by hand and she cut herself deeply, passed out from loss of blood and her cats ate her before anyone discovered her body? 

That would be gross.

And what about balloons? Those things are Instruments of Death. I’ve never let either of the kids play with one. 

All the things the government has banned, yet they have totally missed the balloon thing. Once we were in Kansas visiting Jim’s family when Big was about 10 months old. One of his relatives was letting their 2 year old play with a balloon. I was, natch, horrified at that. I pulled Jim aside and hissed, “do you SEE what they are letting him PLAY WITH? Can you BELIEVE IT?!” like it was a dirty needle or something. 

These same people later demonstrated to us how much the baby loved beer, and how cute that was. More horrified whispering ensued, ”why don’t they just change his name to ALCOHOLIC and be done with it!”

Sometimes you just don’t want to know what sort of gene pool you’re dealing with.

I have a friend who never lets her kids have spiral-bound notebooks because she worries the metal spiral thingy will get caught in their eye.

Now THAT’S weird.

And now, the moment we have all been waiting for…the first week of the Just Finish Something Already! Blog Hop!

All right, maybe we ALL haven’t been waiting for it, but whatever.

This week, I started my mother-in-law’s Annual Christmas Shawl. I know it might not SEEM like I finished anything, but look hard – I finished the PLANNING portion of the shawl-making process.

Project WIN!

Shut up. It counts. We can make up our own rules.

You knitters out there know that the pre-knitting process can be long. It took me about 3 months just to settle on the project, and another 2 months to figure out my yarn. On top of that, I always have to cast-on every project about 47 times. So it might not LOOK like I’ve done much, but I am actually about 40% there.

Which, if the past is any indication, is what I will be telling my husband at midnight on Christmas Eve. Look sweetie! Only eighteen more inches to go!

If I decide to finish this thing at all, that is. The mother-in-law in question showed up on Saturday to celebrate Jim’s birthday. She brought harmonicas for the kids.

Harmonicas.

In my house.

Where my children are.

Frankly, the harmonicas are not only killing my desire to finish the shawl, they are sapping my very will to live.

Hopefully at some point between now and Christmas, this will turn into a shawl: 

I’ve knit twelve rows already. Probably I can take a break until December.

Link up and brag about what you’ve accomplished recently!

First, and most importantly -

Do not forget to Just Finish Something Already! this weekend and be ready to brag about it for the blog hop on Monday!

Secondly, I got tagged in a meme by Debra at Footprints in the Butter! This has never happened to me before!

Here are the questions and answers. Try to stay awake, I am very boring.

I like to both give and receive gifts are thoughtful and personal. Whenever I get an idea for a gift, I write it down in one of my compulsively organized Excel spreadsheets. Nothing makes a person feel crappier than getting the kind of gift that looks like it was bought in a 7-11. For years, my mother-in-law gave me scented candles.

I have never burned scented candles.

On the other hand, maybe it was a hint.

My grandmother used to get free gifts for filling out all the sweepstakes offers that came in the mail, and she would save them and give them at Christmas and birthdays. Jewelry that made your skin turn green, large-print Harlequin romances, special microwave-safe egg cooker thingamajigs, etc. It was hilarious.

NO. I prefer action movies. One of my better traits, according to my husband.

We listen to Old Time Radio on mp3s at night to fall asleep. My sister introduced us to shows from the golden age of radio about 12 years ago, and we have been listening ever since. I can’t fall asleep without it – we even take them with us on overnight trips. Dragnet, Gunsmoke, The Jack Benny Show….it’s great stuff. I can’t wait until our kids are old enough to listen with us.

Interior Designer. I am a frustrated HGTV host. My best friend and her husband are building a house and every time she turns around I am chucking tile samples at her or sending her links to lighting websites. Poor thing. I have an elaborate plan that involves her giving me a blank check so I can go shopping and buy all new furniture for her, but she doesn’t know about it yet. 

Hopefully as fun and loving. It is my worst fear that my children will grow up to lay in their beds at night, talking about me with their spouses the way Jim and I lay in bed and talk about our parents.  

Okay, so I guess I am now supposed to tag some of my favorite people.

I can’t decide! I love everyone, I can’t leave anyone out! If you are reading this, consider yourself tagged.

Try to be more exciting than me. Probably it won’t be that big of a stretch.

When I first started baking my own bread, I discovered a woman who gives bread making lessons. She lives about an hour away, and once a month she hosts classes in her home. I have attended several of them. It’s usually a very enjoyable evening – I get some time to myself AND we get to eat what she makes in the class.

A month ago, she sent out an email listing all her upcoming classes. I was interested in attending a class on Christmas baking, and yesterday sent her an email to verify the date of the class. She wrote back saying that it was a class for homeschoolers only.

That sounded terrific! My boy LOVES to bake and even though I hadn’t thought about taking him with me, it would be fun to hang out with a bunch of other homeschooling, bread-baking weirdos. I emailed her and told her that we ARE homeschoolers, that my son is almost 6, and asked what age range would be there.

She emailed me back that it was for mothers and daughters ONLY.

And that is why other people suck.

I have a button for the Just Finish Something Already! blog hop!

Isn’t it pretty? I just want to pet it.

Sheila at Blog Designs by Sheila made it for me. After spending hours on the computer trying to figure out how to do it myself, I stumbled upon her website and immediately emailed her. She had the button made in LESS THAN 24 HOURS! I love it. It looks great.

In other news, my husband and I have a little football pool amongst ourselves. I am beating him by 5 games.

FIVE.

Holla!

The thing that really chaps him is the fact that I hate football and make a lot of my picks based on whether or not I like their outfits.

On Sunday, I baked like crazy.

I made a double batch of Pizza Dough for the freezer, a focaccia-y thing out of one ball of pizza dough for a little football-watching snack, Oatmeal Cookies, and Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies. AND I had to clean the kitchen and run the dishwasher TWICE before I could even start.

I know. My awesomeness is nearly blinding isn’t it?

If it seems like I am fishing, it’s because I am. After 6 hours in the kitchen, the only comment I received was that the focaccia was too salty.

Which was, in fact, not the level of appreciation I was looking for.

In any event, after I made the Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies, I had a half a can of pumpkin left and as I was putting it away, I had the idea to mix it into a batch of granola bars. These are loosely based on Jolanthe’s Granola Bars, whose recipe I have mangled beyond all recognition.

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Granola Bars

In a large bowl, mix together:

• 6 cups rolled oats
• 1 1/2 cups oat flour
• 1/2 cup flax meal
• 1/2 bag mini chocolate chips

In a separate bowl, wisk together thoroughly:

• 1 cup canned pumpkin
• 3/4 cup brown sugar
• 3/4 cup honey
• 3/4 cup vegetable oil
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 3 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
• 3 teaspoons vanilla
• 2 eggs

Pour liquid ingredients over dry ingredients and stir to combine. Line a sheet pan with parchment, press in mixture, and bake 20-25 minutes. Makes 24 1.5×3″ granola bars.

The pumpkin flavor was actually very subtle in these. Next time I might add another 1/2 cup and drop the oil down to 1/2 cup. I probably would have added more flax, but 1/2 cup is all I had. In previous versions, I’ve used 1 cup of oat flour and 1/2 cup of whole wheat flour. I don’t know that it matters….oat flour doesn’t have any gluten if that is a factor for your family. I just like the oaty-ness of it. For pressing the granola into the pan, I find it helpful to put parchment over the granola and use another sheet pan that is the same size to get it all evenly pressed into place.

After they are done, let them cool in the pan for a few minutes, then use the parchment to slide them out onto a cutting board. I have found it works well to cut them when they are still somewhat warm. If they are too cool, they will get crumbly. I usually will store about 1/3 of a batch in a airtight container (with parchment in between each layer), and the rest go into two freezer bags for later. They freeze great.

The kids think they are getting a “candy bar” and I feel good because I know that most of the ingredients are relatively healthy.

This recipe linked to Real Food Wednesdays at Kelly the Kitchen Kop.

It’s only 67 days until Christmas.

I am abyssmally behind on all my projects.

I am having a hard time getting motivated.

I decided start a blog hop in the hopes it will shame motivate me into finishing some things. At this point starting them would be progress.

I am going to call it the Just Finish Something Already! Blog Hop, and I am going to host it on Mondays. I thought about Fridays because I like alliteration, but think it’s actually more likely that I will might WILL work on the weekends and then I can have something to report. Hopefully.

So, all my fellow procrastinators! If you need a little extra push to finish that project, clean out that closet, or Just Finish Something Already! you are welcome to link up with me on Mondays and brag about it. In fact, PLEASE link up with me, because I will mighty embarrassed if I am the only one around here who can’t accomplish anything.

Even if it’s just that you picked up all the laundry and flung it down the basement stairs, it counts.

We won’t be judgey. You are among friends here.

*Note to self: Figure out how to host a blog hop by Monday.

Gimme Gimme, Gimme Gimme…

Well, yesterday afternoon I shooed everyone outside, got a bowl of ice cream and settled in to watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. About 30 seconds in, I had to pause the teevee and get a notebook. Why did I have to do that? Because I saw a woman give her DOG breakfast in BED. A people bed. Made up with probably 1000 thread-count sheets.

Dog food.

On a tray.

In a bed.

Oh yeah. This is going to be good.

When Housewife Taylor introduced herself, she said that she had grown up in Oklahoma in a normal family. But growing up, she just knew she was destined for bigger things. In fact, she was envious of the people who were content in their middle class lives. Apparently it is a lot of pressure having high aspirations. Poor thing.

I don’t really see how moving to Beverly Hills and marrying the richest guy you can find qualifies as “high” aspirations, but whatever. I am just middle class and clearly don’t understand these things.

Paris Hilton’s aunt Kim told us about the trials of being a beloved (?) child actress and how great all her fans were. Then she blew kisses at the camera and said “she still loved us all.” Isn’t it nice that she remembers the Little People? I feel warm all over. I didn’t realize that a guest starring spot on CHiPs made someone a Television Icon, but that just illustrates once again that I am average and ignorant.

Camille Grammer has 2 children and 4 nannies. FOUR nannies. But that totally does not mean that she is not a completely involved parent. Stop being so judgey. Jeez.

Here is my question, though. HOW do these women wear those 7″ stiletto heals all day? My feet would be killing me after about 30 seconds. And that’s assuming I didn’t fall over and break an ankle right after I stood up. Of course, it might help if you only weigh 47 pounds. Then I suppose it’s no big deal. They only have barely enough body mass to anchor them to the earth as it is. Those stupid platform heels might be the only thing keeping them from floating off entirely. Oh wait – I forgot about the fake boobs. Those are doing their part. And the collagen injections.

I just love this swill.