In CategoryNavel Gazing
  • I saw a cookie recipe on Bon Appetite that takes 27 hours from start to finish. And that doesn’t count that you have to make something called Milk Crumbs first. Probably won’t be baking those any time soon.


  • Yesterday afternoon I could hear my neighbor in his backyard talking baby talk to his dog. Really loud, enthusiastic baby talk to a dog that flings himself at the fence growling whenever my kids are outside. It was kind of creepy.


  • I got an email from Room & Board letting me know that the secret to a happy holiday season is a new dining room table. The one I liked was $1600. Without chairs. All these years, I have been having inadequate holidays and I didn’t even know it.


  • Friday night I took Big to Costco. As I was digging through my bag to get the membership card while keeping one hand on my kid and juggling his snack (the secret to shopping with children is to never leave home without food), the enforcer at the door came bobbing out, chirping, “let me show you how to put him in the cart without lifting!” Even though this lady was probably 65 years old and not a threat to me in any way (unless it was to startle me into dropping all my crap), I still do not appreciate having strangers making grabby motions at my children. I gave her a curt, No Thank You and swung him into the cart. She visibly deflated, and then I felt bad for hurting her feelings. But she was LUNGING AT US. So why do I feel guilty?


  • There is something, somewhere in this house that is beeping. Every few minutes, three faint little beeps. I might go mad.


Later —

I located the beeping sound. My husband had left the refrigerator door open. Luckily, we have annoying, condescending appliances to alert us to human error. Every time I put groceries away and the door is open for more than ten seconds, it starts in with the beeping. I have, in fact, actually cursed out the fridge. That’s how I roll.

The fact that I find the fridge so annoying is not going to stop me from plotting revenge on my husband, though. I’m a multi-tasker that way.