Can’t Touch This

In CategoryNavel Gazing

Hammer Pants

All right, I’m not trying to talk All Teevee, All the Time around here, but I HAVE to get some things off my chest.

  • First, what the heck was Heidi Klum wearing on Project Runway last week? Hammer pants? I have googled the entire internet trying to find a picture of this, but maybe Heidi realized the error of her ways and had them all scrubbed out. Here is the video at Lifetime, the Pants appear at 4:15 in. You don’t have to watch it, but there are HAMMER PANTS. If embedded music didn’t make me want to drive a spike in my ear, and if I knew how to do it, then this would be the moment.


  • Second, I hate cliffhangers. We have been finishing up our Tivo’d stash of the summer cable shows (Covert Affairs, White Collar, Burn Notice, Rizzoli & Isles…) and most of them ended with someone getting shot at the end! So. Annoying. Lookit. Here’s the thing – cliffhangers always leave me manipulated and irritated about it. They might as well flash a message on the screen in big letters:

We don’t think you’ll watch our show again, so here’s a big, stupid, dramatic ending! See you next year!

I watch the shows I like and I don’t watch the shows I don’t like. The end. As a matter of fact, I like shows that aren’t all soapy with big plot arcs. Shows where everything is nicely encapsulated, like on Law & Order. You miss one and it doesn’t matter; the cops are going to bust some new punks next week. I have very little tolerance in my viewing schedule for soap operas. I really like the show Parenthood, and that is soapy enough for me.

  • Thirdly, how did I go all last year without realizing the hilariousness that is Cougar Town? They made a mistake naming that show. I found it so off-putting that I never even gave it a try. However, occasionally I would see little snippets of it and I always thought they were funny. I put it at the top of my Netflix cue and nearly peed my pants laughing three nights last week.

Okay, that’s it. Now, doesn’t everyone feel a little better talking that out?

Wait – one more time  – HAMMER PANTS.