We went to the State Fair with my mother-in-law yesterday. It was about a million degrees out and Bad Mommy neglected to put sunscreen on the tiny people. We saw a lumberjack contest and a guy rassel an alligator, both of which proved to be entertaining to the five-year-old-boy crowd. The kids also got to HOLD a small alligator so Sucker Daddy could pay a bunch of money for a polaroid. It was well worth it, and hopefully fulfills our Lifetime Quota of Alligator Interaction.
The minute Little found out Jim’s mom was coming with us, she said, “I like Grandma! She has whiskers!” which necessitated a stern talk about not commenting on people’s bodies. Happily, there was no more talk about whiskers; but apparently I should have included Grandma in the discussion, because she said some very loud and very politically incorrect things about the kiddie-ride attendants.
While we were standing near the kiddie-ride attendants.
At one point I hissed at her to lower her voice. What is it about getting old that makes the filter disappear? Do they not realize they are saying innappropriate things, or do they just not give a crap anymore? She also brought us a bunch of newspaper clippings that she had been saving, which is what MY grandmother used to do. Yet another sign I am old, when my mother-in-law starts acting like my 85 year old grandmother. Obviously it’s a sign SHE is old, but when these other people age, they’re dragging me right along with them. Lately I feel like there’s an ominous subtext to my life. Like the universe is cackling at me, “you’re OLD, bitch! Get used to it!”
I’m going to be 40 next year, people. It’s a freight train named The Pity Party, and it’s coming right at me.
I keep telling Jim he needs to start saving up to get me a boob job and a pool boy, but I don’t think he’s taking me seriously.
Tags: Mother-in-Law, State Fair
September 1st, 2010 at 2:53 pm
I’m with you on the boob job and the funnel cake. I told my husband when we first married that he needed to start saving now because at some point after we are done having kids I’m going to demand a boob job:) Funnel cake can make any situation a lot more enjoyable.
Sara´s last [type] ..WW – Sleep Reading
September 1st, 2010 at 8:16 pm
I have been 29 for YEARS now. Just ask my daughter. Only, I realized if I tell people now that I am 29, they look at me sideways and surely think in their heads, “Wow, she doesn’t age well, does she?” So I started telling people a while back that I was 40 so maybe I might get the “Wow, she looks great for her age!” response. Honestly? I have no clue how old I am anymore.
That deserves AT LEAST a pool boy, right?
Michelle´s last [type] ..Our Prehistory Unit- pt 2- Early Man
September 1st, 2010 at 8:38 pm
You crack me up! I don’t know what happens to the filter. When you figure it out, let me know so that I can put it in place again for some of the people that I love.
You can have a pity party. That is cool with me.
Oh, and had someone told me what breastfeeding would do to my boobs, I wouldn’t have breastfed. Women don’t believe me when I say that, but I ain’t kidding.
Tressa´s last [type] ..Dual Enrollment- yes or no
September 1st, 2010 at 9:23 pm
I went to a fair up here, and I didn’t get ANYTHING fried. I am so proud.
September 2nd, 2010 at 7:08 am
Ohhh I hate being associated with people who say stupid stuff in public! Ouch.
Mrs. C´s last [type] ..Emperors Allergies
September 2nd, 2010 at 7:36 am
i love the idea that we all get an alligator contact quota. i want that for baby lemurs, mongoose, newborn ayeaye and praying mantis. and can i have the contact time of someone else who doesn’t want theirs?
grit´s last [type] ..Sitting on the roof- playing with the stars
September 2nd, 2010 at 12:40 pm
Ha! I have a keychain somewhere w/ a photo of the girls holding an alligator when they were five or six. I think that right there took care of all alligator contact for the boys as well.
September 2nd, 2010 at 4:41 pm
LOL! Ok…so I shouldn’t have read that post at work! People are looking at me like I have lost my mind (little do they know it was gone a LONG time ago)! You are hilarious! I think I will wait to explore your blog some more until I get home!
Michelle´s last [type] ..Our Homeschooling Timeline
September 2nd, 2010 at 8:36 pm
I TOTALLY agree about the filter issue. My mother, who used to apologize for holding up the grocery store line because she had to use, like, perfect calligraphy on her check, now will say things like, “WOW. That little slut has been rode hard and put up wet.” To the chick’s father.
This was a great post!!
Ashley´s last [type] ..What do you say when the repairman asks- “What’s that noise” Well…