The Perils of Google

In CategoryNavel Gazing
ByDeb

Ok, so Big is all into Volcanoes, right? Last fall, this fellow home schooling friend of mine tells me that there is an actual volcano in New Mexico, right across the border at Raton. It’s a National Park and looks just like a volcano should, with the cone shape and the crater and everything.
 
Jim immediately wants to plan a trip to it. And I’m all, Really? because it’s a four hour drive. Little gets cranky driving to the grocery store and insufferable beyond that. But it seems like HOW can I really resist a trip to an actual VOLCANO for my precious baby who works things like “lava lake” and “pyroclastic flow” into his everyday vocabulary? So I go online and check it out. There’s this teeny-tiny little blurb that yes, you can walk down the trails into the crater, but it is Nature and everything, so there might be wildlife. Obviously, I instantly have visions of The Aggressive Rattle Snake lying in wait on the trail to nibble my poor baby girl’s toes while she is helplessly trapped in her stroller, with no one around to defend her because I have been taken down by the Marauding Bears.
 
I tell this to Jim, and he pooh-poohs me and my irrational(!) fear of snakes and Nature. I say, Lookit, it will be cold and all the snakes will be sunning themselves RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TRAIL. No, he says, snakes hibernate and will not give us any trouble. We leave it at that. But I know I am right.
 
Then! THAT VERY NIGHT! On the local news, a story about some jogger who got bitten by a rattlesnake that was sunning itself RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TRAIL. I (naturally) say, I TOLD you so! And he’s all, Huh. I thought they would be hibernating by now. And then the whole thing starts back up again about whether snakes hibernate. Eventually, he says “let’s go online right now and I’ll prove that I’m right.”
 
Fine. His they are cold blooded creatures and frogs hibernate too arguments are convincing, but I play the odds. I mean, come on – how often is he right? Three, four times a year?
 
So he googles it. It turns out they DO hibernate for a few months. BUT they also sun themselves on rocks and trails in the fall while it is merely chilly. So I was also right, and more importantly, I was right FIRST. He just pulled something out of thin air to argue with me and it was a pure coincidence that he was also right.
 
Ok, so you got all that? Because here is the takeaway from this whole story:
 
DO NOT GOOGLE RATTLESNAKES AT 10:30PM RIGHT BEFORE BED.

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5 Responses to “The Perils of Google”

  1. Green V-Neck Says:

    But…it’s not fall, right? Go, check out the volcano, post pictures! I guarantee you, that boy will remember when you took him.

  2. tracey Says:

    Oh, we have a volcano lover, too. We even had a volcano themed birthday party one year. Pin the lava on the volcano, lava cake (the pics are… interesting) and such. And my husband would be THRILLED to see a rattlesnake. It is his goal to catch every poisonous snake in North America. It is my goal to stop him.

  3. Deb Says:

    A goal to catch every poisonous snake?

    I don’t…I can’t….What?

  4. Michelle Says:

    Ha! And when I’m tired, I misspell things and oh what google gives me back! Especially when I mistype what I want to find and spell correctly something I did NOT want to find. Whoa, baby!

    I had to do some snake research online for some writing, and I seriously haven’t been the same since.

  5. Deb Says:

    There was a picture of what must have been HUNDREDS of rattlesnakes laying together, twisted up into a big, disgusting, writhing knot…

    It gives me the shivers just thinking about it. Blech.