The Wheat and I
I am so excited to start making my own bread. My people go through a lot of it, and when I started adding up how much I was spending on bread products every month, my motivation increased.
When my mother-in-law showed up with the bread machine, my husband, for some reason, thought that meant we would go into the kitchen and make some bread. I was all “take it easy, let’s not get carried away.” When I begin a new hobby, I have a process. First, I had to clean Amazon out of its entire stock of bread books. Then I had to read the books, find the right recipe, and talk myself off the ledge because people like Peter Reinhart are talking about stuff like bigas and starters and mashes and what on earth did I get myself into here? Then I had to spend approximately eleventeen-thousand dollars on loaf pans and dough enhancer and vital wheat gluten and other mysterious things I never thought about before. All of those things had to be purchased on the internet too, because here in Backwater, Colorado, the people at the health food store have apparently never heard of dough enhancer and look at you suspiciously like you might be trying to trick them into selling you rat poison. Then I realized that my inferior storage containers just will not do, and I had to run all over town to find the perfect containers for all this other crap stuff. Obviously, I cannot make decent bread without first getting the right storage containers. What if word of my bread spreads to Food Network and I come thisclose to getting my own show, but then lose out because of inferior containerage? I grudgingly decided I can suffer along with the measuring cups I have, but I put the $25 set on my Amazon wish list for the next time I feel entitled (or the next time I am placing an order and need another dollar to push me over into free shipping).
So for three weeks, I researched and read and bought and assembled and bought some more and had a growing stack of stuff by the front door…and finally, the day arrived.
Lookit. I don’t do things halfway. If I decide I want to make a loaf of bread, the only logical thing to do is buy a 45 pound bucket of wheat. Right? And yes, my entryway is orange.
And why buy dough enhancer when I can make my own for a mere three times the price? At least when my son spills it all over the floor I can make some more.
What? Doesn’t everyone use a label maker? How could you sleep at night otherwise? Note the Fancy New Containers.
And so after washing all the equipment and reading all the directions…
Naturally, we ate an entire loaf with butter and honey right out of the oven. You aren’t supposed to do that, especially if you want to slice it for sandwiches, but Oh My Gosh could it BE more delicious?