I have reached the age of Jack Benny

In CategoryNavel Gazing

My birthday was a few weeks ago. I’m holding onto my thirties with my fingernails. Jim is very put out that my birthday and Mother’s Day are so close together. I like that May is The Month of Deb, but I’m the only one. Jim asked me if it was ok if he took the kids out to do a little shopping. I was like, Wait a minute – you want to take the kids out on my birthday and leave me ALL ALONE in my own house BY MYSELF for entire minutes in a row? Where it might be QUIET? With the remote all to myself? AND you’ll bring back presents?

This would bother me why?
Big really gets into these kinds of events. His little sense of humor just cracks me up no end. A few weeks before my birthday, he asked me what I wanted. I told him I want the biggest cake possible, a cake so big it would barely fit through the front door. So he starts coming up to me and saying “look mom, I drew you a picture of your cake” and it would be this miniscule little circle with a candle on it. Then he made Jim drive him to the store where he proceeded to buy the tiniest sliver of cake he could find. He was practically BESIDE himself, dancing around with glee at how funny he was. It was hysterical. Naturally, I am now on the hunt for a broccoli-shaped cake pan for his birthday. 


It was a very nice day. My mother-in-law showed up with the best present ever – something I actually want (usually she gives me scented candles, probably a hint). A Bosch Bread Machine and a NutriMill! I am going to start grinding my own wheat and baking my own bread! So! Excited! Who doesn’t love homemade bread? My people go through a LOT of it. It will be so much healthier and cheaper. I know, it’s weird – go ahead and roll your eyes. My mother-in-law, when she gave it to me, kept making her How Did My Son Pick Such a Weirdo face, all “is this really what you want? are you going to start growing wheat in the backyard now?” Which of course threw the kids a thought and now I am having to fend off all these brilliant farming ideas.


7 Responses to “I have reached the age of Jack Benny”

  1. Deb Says:

    BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER. The silent house, not the tiny cake, though that is really funny. A broccoli cake pan would be even funnier.

    Years ago when Tom went veg after the kids & I had been veg for years, I thought his mom was going to flip. Now? She is used to not only vegetarian but gluten-free, but it helps that it’s a grandchild who *needs* to be gluten-free, not her son that she knows once ate meat *choosing* to be gluten-free.

    I don’t even know where I was going with that, but anyway. Happy birthday!

  2. Deb Says:

    And by *choosing* to be gluten-free I meant *choosing* to be vegetarian. God. It’s a holiday, don’t judge me by my wine intake.

  3. Deb Says:

    It is surprisingly hard to find a broccoli-shaped cake pan. I still have a few more months, so the search continues. Last year I made a volcano cake out using one of those stick-a-barbie-in-the-top-and-the-cake-is-her-dress pans. It turned out cool, but the poor naked Barbie knock-off it came with was a tiny bit creepy.

    Mothers-in-law…what can I say about that, really? I can’t even imagine the look on her face if I told mine we were going veggie. The older she gets, the less she edits herself, ifyouknowwhatimean.

  4. Deb Says:

    Look at all these Debs commenting in a row. I probably look like someone with multiple personalities having a conversation with myself.

  5. Best Friend Says:

    You mean the Deb comments aren’t all you? I just though I was seeing all your personalities at a glimpse. *snicker*

  6. Deb Says:

    That was entirely uncalled for BF! And to think, I almost set aside a loaf of bread for you…tsk.

  7. Best Friend Says:

    Darn it! The one time my sarcasm comes back to bite me in the butt. Will a starbucks be a start at buying my way back into your heart?