I have reached the age of Jack Benny

In CategoryNavel Gazing
ByDeb

My birthday was a few weeks ago. I’m holding onto my thirties with my fingernails. Jim is very put out that my birthday and Mother’s Day are so close together. I like that May is The Month of Deb, but I’m the only one. Jim asked me if it was ok if he took the kids out to do a little shopping. I was like, Wait a minute – you want to take the kids out on my birthday and leave me ALL ALONE in my own house BY MYSELF for entire minutes in a row? Where it might be QUIET? With the remote all to myself? AND you’ll bring back presents?

This would bother me why?
 
Big really gets into these kinds of events. His little sense of humor just cracks me up no end. A few weeks before my birthday, he asked me what I wanted. I told him I want the biggest cake possible, a cake so big it would barely fit through the front door. So he starts coming up to me and saying “look mom, I drew you a picture of your cake” and it would be this miniscule little circle with a candle on it. Then he made Jim drive him to the store where he proceeded to buy the tiniest sliver of cake he could find. He was practically BESIDE himself, dancing around with glee at how funny he was. It was hysterical. Naturally, I am now on the hunt for a broccoli-shaped cake pan for his birthday. 

  

It was a very nice day. My mother-in-law showed up with the best present ever – something I actually want (usually she gives me scented candles, probably a hint). A Bosch Bread Machine and a NutriMill! I am going to start grinding my own wheat and baking my own bread! So! Excited! Who doesn’t love homemade bread? My people go through a LOT of it. It will be so much healthier and cheaper. I know, it’s weird – go ahead and roll your eyes. My mother-in-law, when she gave it to me, kept making her How Did My Son Pick Such a Weirdo face, all “is this really what you want? are you going to start growing wheat in the backyard now?” Which of course threw the kids a thought and now I am having to fend off all these brilliant farming ideas.