Random Monday

In CategoryRandom Monday



**shuffles feet, looks at floor awkwardly**

How’s everyone doing? I miss you guys!

Things are good here. I hate to pull the “busy” card, but you know. I have been trying to stop sucking at school and it turns out that’s very time consuming. Also to that end, I have been ingratiating myself into a Real Life Homeschool Group. Last week we attended two homeschool events in one day! TWO! Who am I? I left the house EVERY DAY last week. IN REAL PANTS.

You know me, people. Real pants are bad enough. But leaving the house? It’s a whole new paradigm around here.

I find watching my kids socialize to be excruciating, mostly, but that’s because of that whole thing where I don’t like other people or their children. But I’m on medication for that. HAR!

Speaking of which, I saw this on Facebook yesterday and laughed out loud and wondered if anyone would even notice if I made a whole gallery wall of Snark.


My birthday is on Friday. Jim bought me a really nice present. I am v. excited about it. When we are eating rice & dirt for the next three weeks, we can gaze at it. Well, actually, I suppose we can gaze at the spot where it will hang because it will be a month before it gets here. But we’ll envision it and appreciate it preemptively.

Jim almost caused a problem when he was persuading me to buy it and said, “I want to get you something nice and I didn’t get you a good present on your 45th birthday.”




ANYway! I love you and miss you all, and I will try to be better. I have more stories to tell, but dadgum long division awaits.

Happy Monday, y’all!


To the flashcards!
(Lone Ranger Voice Font) 


Random Monday

In CategoryNavel Gazing, Random Monday


• I’ve been meaning to link to this for weeks, it’s so funny. Dave Barry’s Year in Review. The potheads of Colorado figure prominently.

• Regarding the Death of Blogging, I read this by Kit at DIY Diva (one of my favorites) and felt better.

• Here’s something about Oregon: I cannot get a decent cup of coffee anywhere in this state. There are these tiny little drive-through coffee huts all over the place and they all have one thing in common – their coffee sucks. You’d think being so close to the birthplace of Starbucks would’ve influenced the offerings here, but no. So when I want a hot drink I don’t have to make myself, I get hot chocolate. It’s pretty good. But after about three days of hot chocolate instead of coffee, the monkey on my back smacked me in the head and said, “Hey, Dumbass! I need CAFFEINE!” and then gave me a migraine as punishment.

• We took the kids out for breakfast yesterday. I grabbed a real estate booklet on the way in and Big and I checked it out while we waited. Big pointed at the biggest fanciest houses and announced that was he was going to have when he grew up. I told him I could do just fine in a detached guest house and he should start making plans to keep me in the manner in which I wish to become accustomed. After Big agreed I could live with him, Jim was all like, “hey, what about dad?” and Big said, “I suppose I can make a doggie door in the kitchen for your walker.”

The ladies seated next to us laughed so hard I thought they might fall on the floor and break a hip.

Later, when I refused to give Big half my bacon, he told me in all seriousness, “see, the decisions you make now are going to determine how you live later.”

• Happy Monday, y’all!

Into and Over It: 2015 Edition

In CategoryNavel Gazing


• House of Cards. We are late to this party, but I can’t get enough of Kevin Spacey and how deliciously ruthless he is in this show.

• Breakfast burritos. They are considerably more work than cereal and yogurt, but at least the kids don’t start cheeping for lunch at 10:30am when I make them.

• Sofa shopping. I am leaning toward this one. I am trying not to get toooo obsessed with kitchen remodeling. I have a plan to take out all the cabinets and rearrange them. Don’t tell Jim.

Over It

• This morning I read some decluttering blog where the writer said, “In the words of Elsa, ‘Let it go!'” Here’s what we need to let go of, people: Frozen. I am not even kidding. The songs, the merchandise, the eternal pop-culture references to a stupid cartoon with seriously one of the worst songs ever….it’s run it’s course. I’m begging you. No more Frozen.

• People who don’t pick up after their dogs. Lookit. If your dog is going potty anywhere but your own yard – pick it up. I swear, every time we go to the beach, I want to go home and print out a giant sign to post that says, “This is a PATH, not a TOILET.” I don’t want to see dog poo. Anywhere. At the beach. In the woods. On a trail. At the reservoir. On the sidewalk. It’s rude and inconsiderate. If I wanted to step in dog poo, I’d get a dog. If you don’t want to pick up after your dog, then stop bringing it places. Dogs are, arguably, a part of nature. However, the beach is not your dog’s habitat. Habitat being the place he eats and potties. That place is your yard. At any other location, your dog is a guest. Good guests don’t relieve themselves in the middle of the party.

Perhaps you are Over posts about poo.

Marsala, the Pantone Color of the Year. What is Pantone, you ask? Pantone is a group of people who decide what colors are popular. This sounds ridiculous, but it’s true and very serious business. You want to know why yellow is everywhere all of a sudden and you can’t find forest green anywhere? Because the powers that be decreed it so. Companies listen to the Color Forecast (that’s totally a thing) and it guides them when deciding what colors cars should be, what color all the cute decor accents at Target will be, even what colors clothing collections will be. This is simultaneously fascinating and irritating to me. The next time you want to buy a cute pink accessory and all you can find is Radiant Orchid, you’ll know why.

Regarding the color Marsala specifically, I am pretty sure we already endured this back in the late 80s/early 90s and it was called Burgundy. Perhaps paired with the aforementioned Forest Green. What next, Pantone? Wallpaper borders printed with geese in bonnets? Powder blue Swiss dot fabric and broomstick skirts?

Marsala: Good for Mushroom Marsala Pasta Bake. Walls? Not so much.

Happy 2015, y’all!

Random Monday

In CategoryRandom Monday


• Every so often I think about quitting blogging. I’ve been inconsistent and lost a bunch of readers. It’s more fun to write when you know you’re talking to someone. On the other hand, I was reading over my archives (do you guys do that – read your own archives?), and there are so many stories I would never remember today if I hadn’t written about them. Like that time when Little was going to have one hundred babies. I don’t want to miss out on remembering stuff if I quit. All these articles about the Death of Blogging can be discouraging, though. And I don’t have the stomach to be a corporate shill about it to try to get popular – I am not on instagram, I don’t care about writing sponsored posts, and I still hate Google+ and won’t use it no matter what everyone says I should do. I mean, I’d LIKE to be popular, I’m just too lazy to work at it.

Does anyone else dither about this?

• This photographer is funny (beware the autoplay music) – Best Case Scenario.

The World Would Be a Better Place if We All Stopped Taking Pictures of Ourselves. HAR!

• I am TOTALLY going to try this – Using Spiral Notebooks to Simplify Homeschooling.

This article is VERY interesting. It’s a totally new (to me, anyway) way of thinking about drinking. The line that caught my eye – That instead of looking at how insane it is to consume the amounts of alcohol we do in this country on any level, we’ve instead systematically labeled anyone who can’t hang in that insanity as having the problem.

• Happy Monday, my darlings!


PS: You guys were so amazing and generous to me last week when I shared my menopause/emotional struggles. Some of you didn’t comment, but instead sent beautiful, heartfelt, and caring emails. I can’t tell you how much all this support means to me. I told my husband how wonderful y’all were, and got all teary-eyed. Natch. Thank you. So much.