Stupid Nature Shows

In CategoryNavel Gazing
ByDeb

A (slightly disturbing?) Story – 

The other day, the kids are I were driving to the Big City to grocery shop and hit Walmarts.

Little: Mommy! If you were an ocean creature, what creature would you be?

(she often asks these kinds of questions. it is an ongoing conversation around here)

Me: Mmm, I don’t know. I want to be at the top of the food chain. Maybe an Orca?

Little: Yeah! An orca! And I will be your baby orca!

Little, enthusiastically: Mommy! Pretend we are swimming! We are swimming and swimming as fast as we can, except I am just a baby and get tired, but you go ahead and see a Great White Shark and you kill it and bring it back to me and we eat it up! And she had babies in there and we gobble up all her babies too!

Me: HORRIFIED SILENCE

 

 

I told Jim this story later, and he was all, “looks like we need to put another dollar in the therapy jar.”

Now with No Solar Flares!

In CategoryAdventure
ByDeb

From my pal Eddie

I’m assuming that the solar flares have come back and stopped you from adding new posts. Ahem. :)

I know, I’ve been horrible about writing lately, wherein lately means the last 18 months. I keep reading all these posts about how blogging is dead. I’m very suggestible, you know.

Okay, so, here’s what’s happening: We are back in Oregon for a couple months! Remember how I said that our goal when we bought our very tiny house in a very cheap town was so we could afford to travel a little? Well, I’ve been saving all year, and here we are! Are you mentally bracing yourself for endless nature blathering and obnoxious beach pictures? If not, you should be.

Bandon-Beach-12-10-14

The kids have celebrated three out of the last four birthdays in Oregon, and last year we were all sad that we skipped a year and spent it in boring ol’ Colorado. So we decided to come back. The difference being that we are not homeless this time, so I am actually feeling a little homesick. Mixed Feelings: the Hallmark Of Adulthood.

I keep seeing all kinds of Christmas decorating posts everywhere, and am practically faint from the desire to make a tree skirt out of faux fur (Faux fur has to be good for SOMEthing, Mel).

Instead, we bought a teeeeenny tiny tree from the local hardware store and a strand of multicolored Christmas lights. Total cost: $19.95. The kids made candy cane decorations from sculpey and puffy ornaments from pom-poms and pipe cleaners. I still have not wrapped one single thing, but I did buy some paper at the Walmarts (grumbling the whole time – might as well throw a twenty dollar bill directly in the trash, that’s how I feel about wrapping paper) and also remembered tape, so I’m practically finished.

We are having a Very Scaled Back Christmas this year, because Hello! I brought you people to the beach! Hopefully this is the first step on the road to less materialistic Christmases, primarily because materialistic entitled children are icky and also because I think we can cap the Personal Lego Collection at around 4 million bricks, give or take a few that might have gotten sucked up in the vacuum on days when mom didn’t feel like bending over to rescue them.

Bending over is for the birds. I’m 40, you know. I even bought new shoes the other day, with the only criteria being comfortable and slip on. Shoe Laces: Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That. I am coveting some Uggs I saw at the mall a while back, but can’t quite shake the image of Pamela Anderson wearing nothing but Uggs and a red bikini in the 90s. Well, Pam Anderson and the $200 price tag, that’s also standing in my way. I’ll have to wait for Tightwad Deb to get distracted, then I can pounce.

Cape-Arago

 

Mambo Number Five

In CategoryNavel Gazing
ByDeb

So a couple weeks ago, Jim had to go out of town again. That, for those keeping track, was trip number FIVE. Five trips in nine weeks. FIVE. From my perspective, work basically held the entire summer hostage, since he was either gone or getting ready to go somewhere since the end of June. Even though he was gone constantly, life went on, and I was left in charge of all kinds of things that I don’t like to be in charge of.

Like The Guy. You know – The Guy. The Lawn Guy, The Handyman Guy, The Tree Guy… This particular week, I was forced to deal with The Tree Guy. I hate dealing with The Guy.

I kept Jim apprised of the situation –

Text-1        Text-2

 

text-3        Text-4

 

Text-5        Text-6

In any event, The Guy and all associated Guys eventually left and in spite of everything, did a good job. The next week we had a huge windstorm that knocked branches down all over the neighborhood and I was able to sit back and feel smug that we had done the Responsible Thing before a giant branch had a chance to fall on our house. Which frankly, is not generally how things go at our house.

 

Random Monday

In CategoryRandom Monday
ByDeb

Random-Monday-Main-Final

This article – Why Early Learning Does Not Help – is excellent, albeit looooong. It contains some very firm language, so don’t say I didn’t warn you. For example –

When asked what are the gains from early learning for small children, Dr. Neufeld simply replies: “I don’t think there is anything to be gained except parental emancipation.”

• This is high-larious – Toddlers are A**holes. I’m not swearing, I’m just quoting. And anyway, it’s true.

This is interesting, but the one sentence that really speaks to me is this one –

“Why do something hard today when you can do it easy tomorrow?”

• This I loved. Won Over by the Battlefield.

• I know Neil deGrass Tyson has a lot of loyal followers, which is probably why I find this whole business about him lying/fabricating/embellishing in his speeches AND his subsequent efforts to silence everyone who points it out so intriguing.

**I know it’s not Monday. I was busy.